The Pressure to stay thin from Mom-shells to Cougar – Shells

I usually reserve my mornings to write, catch up on business, see what happened in the news overnight and naturally listen to Sports Center courtesy of my sons. However, there came a point during the second half of Good Morning America that I tuned in for. ABC correspondent Amy Robach did a segment entitled Celebrity 'Momshells' Pressured to Look Perfect After Giving Birth and my ears perked up. 
We are a country obsessed with celebrity. Paparazzi lay in wait for the first baby bump showing when an actress becomes pregnant. Then those same photographers snap as many photos of the actresses post-baby bodies to see how fast or slow they lose the baby weight. Janice Min, former editor of US Weekly was one of the culprits responsible for the proliferation of perfect post baby bodies that graced their covers. Instead of making new moms feel better, it made them feel worse. Pregnancy lasts for nine months and during that time doctors are careful to remind you that even though prenatal vitamins provide necessary nutrients for both mom and baby there is no substitute for good, healthy eating. 

Conversely, there is no substitute for healthy weight loss. Many of the stars we laud have access to things most new moms don’t. They have personal trainers, chefs, nannies, housekeepers, drivers and the money to afford it. I’m always tickled when these same stars are asked how they are able to balance work and motherhood. Even B-list actresses make enough money from a couple of movies and television appearances than some women make in a year. 

When I had my twins twenty five years ago, I gained 29 pounds. I wasn’t trying to starve myself so I could snap my body back into shape. I had morning sickness all day until I was six months pregnant. Then it was discovered that my sons thought my uterus had bucket seats like a sports car. So there they were side by side on the sonogram. Ultimately I had a C-section but my abdominal muscles became the Hatfields and McCoys. No matter how many sit ups, crunches and machines I bought my stomach didn’t budge. Finally my doctor said the only way I would get a flat belly would be through surgery. I have a hard time getting my insurance which I pay for to cover my MS medications, I don’t think they’ll sign off on a tummy tuck to make me feel better. 

Then we have the flip side of the coin. It’s the pressure to be a Cougar-shell. Women who are over forty with the bodies of twenty somethings like Madonna, Demi Moore, Helen Mirren, Julianne Moore, Kelly Ripa and Halle Berry to name a few. Though we are in our sexual prime in our forties, fifties and sixties (Yay for us!), the truth is other things are in decline, mainly our metabolism. Now before you doctors and personal trainers go all nuclear because of the obesity crisis in this country, it is the truth. In order for us to raise our metabolism, we’d have to exercise anywhere from three to five hours a day. This sounds completely doable as long as you can afford it. Unfortunately, a lot of us are lucky to get to the gym twice a week. While the message is about getting healthy and reducing your risk for diabetes, hypertension and heart disease, the underlying subtext is being thin is the goal. I have MS, which is an autoimmune disease like diabetes, Lupus and epilepsy. One of the treatments I've undergone involves steroids, which I hate. On steroids it doesn’t matter whether you eat Twinkies or salads all day, you still look bloated. I do my best to avoid this course of treatment whenever possible. 

All of this makes sense in my head but I still feel like a failure because I don’t look like Halle Berry in a swimsuit and I know I’m not alone. I was happy to see Good Morning America shine a light on this subject and maybe if it can help one woman come to terms with her body and use a healthy approach to weight loss in the long run she’ll be a better and happier mother. Here’s to the continuation of hope.

A Tale Of Two Novelists

There probably isn’t a person out there that hasn’t thought about writing the American novel based on their lives or based on a character that’s a composite of the many personalities they’ve met along the way in life. I will tell you that there is nothing more satisfying than sitting in front of your computer and typing out the first few words that eventually turn into what you hope to be a dynamite, attention grabbing introduction. For Herman Melville’s Moby Dick it was “Call me Ishmael.” Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities was ‘It was the best of time, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.'

It’s the type of greatness, writers dream of and aspire to attain. I am one of those writers. Though I’d never consider my writing to be in Dickens or even Jane Austen’s league, I am an actual author and novelist albeit an accidental one. Growing up, I didn’t read the traditional bodice ripping romances. I found romance in Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Emma and The Age of Innocence. Therefore, it was a bit of a surprise to me when I felt compelled to write Not His Type. The story came to me after I watched a New York Yankees game. Before you heap all the not so nice adjectives about the best baseball team in the world, in my humble opinion, I am a life long Yankees’ fan a tradition proudly handed down to me from my great grandfather, Hannibal Donadelle, a man I’d never seen until my beloved cousin Ernie posted a photo of him from his entrance into this country on June 30 1918 at the age of 24, which means he was born a year before Babe Ruth. By the time he came to New York, Babe Ruth was in pinstripes.

 I digress. I wrote Not His Type based on my harmless crush on Derek Jeter. I’m older than Mr. Jeter, so I waited until he turned thirty before I allowed my crush out of the gate. Like many New Yorkers and other gossip readers, I read about the parade of lovelies the handsome Mr. Jeter has dated over the years. I began to ponder what would happen if a man like him dated an average woman. When I say average, I mean average in terms of size, which in this country is a size 14 or larger. That little thought turned into a manuscript and eventually I received a publishing contract from Genesis Press in 2006. In 2007 the book was released and I was honored to receive the Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice Award for Best African American Romance. 

I went on to publish five more titles with Genesis. Bliss Inc, The More Things Change, Waiting For Mr. Darcy, Mixed Reality and I Take This Woman. All of the books were mass-market paperbacks which are small, usually non-illustrated, and an inexpensive bookbinding format. The books usually retail for about 6.99 or 5.34 approximately when sold at Walmart. In my joy of being published and seeing my name on the bookshelves, I failed to notice the signs around all around me about my publisher. The advances paid were relatively small and meted out in three dated installments, which almost never were met on time. I didn’t want to make a fuss. After all I was lucky to have a publisher and considering the competition to get published, I felt I needed to count my blessings. 

To say that I have changed my mind is an understatement. My experience has been a costly one. I am a cancer survivor and I have been living with MS for 16 years. Yesterday, I reached a milestone. I have survived 16 years longer than my doctors thought I would when I had cancer. I well remember the days when my 30th birthday wasn’t a foregone conclusion. I am thrilled to be north of forty and will continue to pursue my career as a writer. I never expected to be Nora Roberts or Debbie Macomber but I did hope to make enough to afford having an expensive disease like MS. The costs of the injections alone are nearly four thousand dollars a month and that doesn’t include all the other medications to manage the pain and spasticity. 

I would like to use my experience as a cautionary tale. If you want to be an author and you have a manuscript be sure to have an agent who can negotiate a good contract for you and more importantly put you in line with reputable publishers. Like a lot of people I am better with others than I am when it comes to me. I will watch out for my clients like a hawk, unfortunately that left my back uncovered. 

In the midst of all of this I have discovered that I am living a tale of two novelists. The first, a hopeful author giddy with excitement about her first published fiction work. The second novelist. a bit more hardened, cautious and even worse a little more than jaded. However, I have chosen to look forward and past my experience with my previous publisher. There is still joy in creativity to be found. I am still writing my and while I ready myself for a battle. I am committed to continue to create curvy main characters for my romances. I have completed two manuscripts that I truly hope will find a home and get me back on the shelves and e-readers.

 I want to thank all the people who have emailed me to ask about my next novel. Please know that I appreciate your interest and ask you for your support as I make my case to get to another publisher. These days, it’s all about having support and I know that women are the largest group of book buyers and romance is the top selling fiction genre. So please like my page on Facebook Chamein Canton Chick Lit Wedding Romance and following me on Twitter. I’d love to keep the women with the boobs, bellies and butts in print as inspiration to feel sexy and take some risks in your love lives whether you’re single, committed or married. Believe me, you’re worth it.

Style, Romance & The Big Girl

At 12 years old I began my love affair with fashion and wedding magazines, much to my mother’s chagrin I might add. This was before the age of the celebrity cover girl when actual models appeared on the covers of magazines. Unfortunately it was before the politically correct term of plus size was used. Therefore, you were hard pressed to find a figure over a size 8, which apparently in the modeling world practically made you a heifer.

Fast forward thirty plus years and there have been many positive changes in fashion, It has become more inclusive of all sizes. I’d love to believe that they saw the light but the fact is they saw the red ink of straight sizes and the increase of black ink for designers and fashion companies that make stylish clothes for plus size women. Although we’ve come a long way there are still naysayers. According to an article published in the New York Times during Full Figured Fashion Week entitled Plus –Size Revelation: Bigger Women Have Cash, Too.

The plus-size market increased 1.4 percent while overall women’s apparel declined 0.8 percent in the 12 months leading up to April 2010 versus the same period a year earlier, the most recent figures available, according to NPD Group, a market research firm. The article goes on to say that although Americans have grown steadily heavier in the last decade, women’s plus-size clothing still makes up only 17 percent of the women’s apparel market today, according to NPD. There just is not much supply or variation in plus-size clothes for women to buy, said Marshal Cohen, chief industry analyst at NPD. And the big retailers have mostly stayed away.

Cost is one issue. Plus-size clothes are more difficult, and expensive, to make than more traditional sizes. Material can be the largest portion of a garment’s cost — up to about 60 percent — and larger sizes require not only more of it, but sometimes different production processes. “It's not just about how much fabric is required,” said Deepa Neary, a retail consultant at A.T. Kearney, a consulting firm. “You’re actually using wider bolts of fabric, and that sometimes requires special machinery to produce the garments. You often don’t get to pass that on to the consumer, so your margins are not as high as the regular-size clothing.” (New York Times June 19, 2010)

To add insult to injury, some retailers have eliminated plus sizes from their stores, choosing to only sell them online. To me it smacks of get to the back of the fashion bus. We don’t want our beautiful slim clothing to be seen with fat girl fashions. However, we are more than happy to take your money.

You might think I’m comparing apples to oranges but the price of most things have gone up including potatoes, chicken, beef and wheat to name a few. Yet, I can go to any fast food chain and still super size my fries or get a triple cheeseburger. So to say that designers and retailers are worried about the cost of producing plus size clothing sounds ludicrous. They are essentially cutting off their nose to spite their face. If McDonald’s is smart enough to keep fries on the menu, what’s your excuse, really? 

I am way out of the age demographic for Glamour magazine but I’ve been a devoted reader for so long that I pick up the latest issue when I’m at my local bookstore or passing through Penn Station.

It seems that editor in chief, Cindi Leive has figured out that plus size women have pockets with money to spend and her magazine caters to our style and search for romance. The August 2012 issue of Glamour featured an article entitled All About You, Your love life, your work life and your life life. In 1863 Alexandre Cabanel painted the famous nude Venus. Artist, Anna Utopia Giordano slimmed down the goddess of love as a commentary of modern beauty. Glamour asked men the question, slim down this girl? (referring to the original painting) the result was most said no way. They liked the voluptuous curves and sexual mystique of a woman with a real body. Glamour goes on to say that every body is some guy’s type and a whopping 76% of men would rather date a confident plus size woman than an insecure supermodel. How do you like us now, Madison Avenue?

When asked do you compare women’s bodies to the ones you see in magazines or porn? Fifty-one percent said probably subconsciously. But I remember that real women don’t have the benefit of lighting and retouching. Bravo Glamour! I can assure you that there are more than a few Amens coming from the pews. We have become a country obsessed with size. Strike that. We’re a country that’s obsessed with the size of women’s bodies.

The media ideal of what makes a woman sexy is way off the mark. Perhaps if they’d come down from their tower they would see it firsthand. Goodness knows, I’ve seen what the media ideal looks like from the ground and let’s just say it’s a good thing the camera adds ten pounds, they need it,

 This brings me to my only pet peeve with Glamour’s September issue with Posh Beckham on the cover and serving as the guest editor. Here’s a woman who I am sure is probably a lovely person, who looks like she hasn’t met a piece of food she wanted near her mouth. Even while she was pregnant, photographers were hard pressed to see the all important baby bump. She is a part of the reason so many young and older women obsess over their size. She has five kids, a sexy husband and designers can’t throw clothes at her fast enough just so she can be photographed in them on the red carpet. I am still a big fan of Glamour and I love that they’re so inclusive when it comes to size. I would dare to make a suggestion of having Amber Riley on the cover and let het be the guest editor for an issue. It’s just a thought.

On June 8, 2012 The Huffington Post ran an article entitled Eating Disorders Affecting More Midlife Women, Studies have shown the majority of those affected by an eating disorder are young women, but the number of midlife women facing the same struggle is on the rise. As Huff/Post50 recently reported, treatment centers have seen an increase in the number of middle-aged women seeking help for eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. The signs of an eating disorder signs of an eating disorder-- such as lack of menstruation or loss of bone density -- are more difficult to spot in older women than in younger women, often leaving midlife women misdiagnosed. At any age, damage to the body resulting from an eating disorder can be grave. Sarah Parker, director of anxiety and eating disorders at the Reeds Treatment Center in New York told ABC News: "There can be significant damage to the heart and heart muscles," said Parker. "In really severe cases, the heart can stop functioning. Fat stores in the brain can become depleted and affect cognitive and neurological functioning. It can also result in osteoporosis and organ failure."

More than 10 million Americans suffer from some form of an eating disorder, including anorexia, bulimia and binge eating, the National Eating Disorders Association reports. An increase of 42 percent of middle-aged women with eating disorders was seen from 2001 to 2010. Triggers of a midlife eating disorder can include the pressures of aging, relationships and personal loss.

This is one of the reasons I believe that more magazines and publishers should get on board with more curve friendly titles. Before anyone can mention it, I know all about the obesity problem in America. I believe it’s important to have a healthy diet but there is something to be said for healthy body image. Put any woman in front of a mirror and I can bet you dollars to donuts that she will find every little flaw she believes or perceives. With this kind of track record, what will happen to the next generation of girls coming up?

Former correspondent for Good Morning America Andrea Canning’s report on body image (June 11, 2011) found that a 2009 University of Central Florida study found that nearly half of the 3- to 6-year-old participants said they worried about being fat. Meanwhile, the number of eating disorder hospitalizations for kids under age 12 more than doubled between 2000 and 2006, according to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA).

 Even Project Runway got into the act when they threw designers a curve with plus size clients and new designers were in a quandary because some simply didn’t know how to deal with anything larger than a sample size. The fact is that more than 74% of women in the United States are plus size. If we were in Congress, we’d be the majority. Yet in the real world, we’re marginalized in fashion and in the media. Sure we’ve had a few rays of light, Melissa McCarthy, Queen Latifah and Loni Love but it’s not enough to constitute a sunshine filled day.

It’s time that we’re recognized as something more than just a punch line, second banana or post script to an article. It’s clear that we aren’t going anywhere. For many of us like me, I took the long and hard road to find happiness with my body, I’m a cancer survivor who has been living with MS for 16 years and to round it out I also have Celiac disease. The road to body image acceptance has been a rocky one for me but it’s one that I want to share with others through nonfiction wedding books and big chick lit romances where the big girl gets the guy, I want to see more representation in the print and film media. In the long run it will be a marriage made in heaven.

The Olympics- A Lesson in Unity for the United States

Like millions of people around the world, I enjoy watching the Olympics. While I may not watch every event, I am still awed by the pageantry and the astonishing abilities of the athletes who are chosen to represent their countries.

 When I was younger, I never gave the symbols of the Olympics much thought. I was caught up in the competition as I rooted our American athletes on from the comfort of my living room. I believed the games were about athletic excellence and winning medals. Now that I’m north of forty, I know the true meaning of the games is indeed unity.

As Americans we like to say there’s no “I” in team but while we impress this upon our athletes, we don’t impress it upon our politicians. In the Declaration of Independence our founders said "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” The founders recognized that although we were a nation of individuals, we were a united nation.

This is taken a step further by our Pledge of Allegiance, which says in part,: "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

The word, indivisible jumps off the page, as it means not divisible; unable to be divided or separated. Currently the state of our nation is anything but inseparable. One of the great aspects of America has been our willingness to engage in thoughtful political debates. Although many had (and still have) opposing political views, we remained dignified and respectful of the political process.

Now we have dissolved into a nation of political pit bulls engaged in a national dog fight over everything from gay marriage, health care and taxes to who are real Americans and where the real Americans live. Then there is the great economic divide of the haves, the have nots and the have plenty but still want mores. It seems the politicians, media and super rich are there to throw one piece of meat into the ring for the rest of us to fight over so we don’t notice that there’s plenty of meat outside of the ring. I am aware that I’m over simplifying it but there aren’t enough hours in the day to break it down. I suspect that the tone of political discourse in this country has led many people to vote for the next American Idol en masse instead of heading to the polls to vote for issues and candidates that will actually affect their lives. It’s one of the reasons I believe the Olympics are important.

Though great tragedies like 9/11, Hurricane Katrina and the shootings in Aurora, Colorado have both united and brought out the best in many people, the Olympics allows us to unite as a nation to bask in the pride of sending our best athletes onto the field of play to represent the best of us with tears of joy, not tears of sorrow. We’re also reminded our best goes far beyond the participants. They are supported by mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, daughters and sons who sacrifice so they can achieve their goal of Olympic glory. All Americans can relate to this sacrifice as every generation has done the same so that the next will do a little better. It’s the basis of the American dream. Regardless of whether you’re a Democrat or Republican, my deepest hope is that we take time to hit the reset button and concentrate on the real issues that affect all of us, which in essence haven’t changed since the Declaration of Independence was written. All and not some of us have the right to live our lives, the freedom to choose how we live and to pursue happiness.

Big Love: Damn the Spanx! Full Speed Ahead into Your Future.

On the surface dating and relationships should be the same for everyone across the board but it isn’t. Thin women reign supreme when it comes to the definition of beauty in this country. There isn’t a week when you don’t see a picture of Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie or Kim Khardashian on the cover of any given tabloid. Moreover if you flip through the pages you will see even more women who meet the thin standard of beauty. Sure there is a lot of talk about curves but if you’re one of the 74% of women in the United States who are considered full figured (size 12, 14 and up) you are usually hard pressed to see what curves they are referring to. Anyone have a magnifying glass?

What’s most interesting is many of these women have the same dating, relationship and marriage problems that plague the rest of us mere mortals. The truth is Brad and Jennifer, Katie and Tom, and Halle and Gabriel couldn’t make it work. That leads me to think what’s size got to do with it? Apparently while nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, it does not guarantee happily ever after.

If you’re a plus size woman, you might have given up hope on finding that special someone to spend your life with. I’m here to tell you there is hope and it starts in the mirror and not on the scale. I am living proof of that. I’ve been in a relationship with a great guy who loves me for me. We’ve been together for almost 7 years. I’ve already picked out my engagement ring and all that’s left is to set a date.

I know that confidence made the difference for me. I used to sit at home upset over my size. That’s when I decided that I was tired of being sorry for my size. I’ve .survived cancer, raised twin sons alone and I’m living with MS. One of the benefits of being north of forty is the wisdom and confidence that comes with knowing who you are. I discovered my voice for curvy romance novels. I’ve written six including Not His Type. I have two others, Mulligan’s Match and North of Forty that are just waiting for the right publisher. My goal is to use my curvy confident characters to inspire women to get out there and get the relationship they want. In other words, Damn the Spanx! Full Speed Ahead into Your Future.

All of this is much easier said than done. However, nothing will happen if you don’t take the first step toward finding the right person for you. All you have to do is remember a few things:

• Confidence is sexy. Ne Ne Leakes’ tag line might be over the top but it works. When I walk into a room, I own it!
• Don’t settle for anything less then what you want. Guys can smell desperation a mile away.
• Remember you can be sexy. However, there is no need to let the girls hang out to get attention. A little cleavage goes a long way.
• Don’t be too influenced by magazines that tell you how to drop two sizes in a month. It’s important to eat right and exercise but no one wants to have dinner with a nutritional mathematician
• Full figured doesn’t mean full speed ahead to the bedroom. You might wear a size 14 plus but you don’t have to slip out of it right away.

Dating and finding love isn’t easy but nothing worth having is. Don’t let the scale or tag number rule your love life. If it takes a little fashion help, visit my friends, The Curvy Stylist, Daily Venus Divas and Plus Model for tips and inspiration online and on Twitter If you need t pump up your romantic Mojo, my romance novels are just a click away for your e-reader or head to the bookstore. Your Cinderella story could be right around the corner..   

Bravo! It’s hip to be round. Finally!

* My blog caveat -Due to my condition (MS), I don’t type and must rely on the kindness of strangers to take my dictation and turn it into a blog post. Therefore, if you are offended by any mistakes (grammatical errors) my apologies.

Remember David Bowie’s song Fashion? Whether you turn left or right fashion is all around us. If you are like me, you enjoy flipping through the pages of your favorite fashion magazines and are likely a Project Runway devotee too.

However, the one thing that I have noticed is that models do seem to be getting thinner by the minute. A few years ago, I went to Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in September to check out the latest from my favorite designers. As I walked around, I was shocked at how thin the models were in person. You know how they say the camera adds 10 pounds. Well my friends these ladies need it. As they sauntered out onto the runway, they looked like ghouls decked out in the finest couture. If only it was Halloween time.

For many years, I’ve had the privilege of knowing wonderful women who have devoted their lives to changing the way the world looks at plus size women. Valery Amador, the founder and driving force behind Venus Divas. Gwen DeVoe who founded a modeling school for plus size models and one of the organizers of Full Figured Fashion Week and Madeline Figueroa Jones, Editor in Chief of Plus Model magazine.

When Maddy posted the photos of today’s average size model to a plus size model together, the image was striking and unsettling. The difference between fashion models and real size women has grown from eight percent to twenty-three percent. To think that the supermodels of the past would be considered plus models at a size four today is astounding. What’s more unsettling is this is what many young women are aspiring to emulate if they want to get into modeling.

Though the women I’m talking about are all about empowerment and acceptance, they haven’t left health out of the picture. While it’s important to feel good about you, the most important thing is to take care of what’s on the inside as well. Contrary to popular belief, plus size women are not stretched out on sofas devouring cake, rack of baby back ribs and gallons of ice cream. Most are women seeking to balance a life that includes family, work, relationships and we’d like to look effortlessly stylish while doing it.

Thankfully we have curvy fashionistas online like Sheri Collins, The Curvy Stylist whose blog www.everybodywearsshoes.com follows fashion trends as well as providing you with tips on how you can make it work from your closet. Stephanie Danforth, who heads up Venus Divas Daily, gives us up to the minute content from fashion to relationships. There are countless others that can be found on Twitter and Facebook. You don’t have to look far to find inspiration.

Ultimately, I hope Maddy’s post and interview on ABC World News shines more attention on the issues real size women face and what we are possibly doing to young girls who are growing up with these images. I applaud her for having the courage to post the photos and now I think it’s up to us to make sure we keep shining the light on the issue. Yes ladies, it’s hip to be round.

Life North of Forty Plus. Do we have what it takes to be the next greatest generation?

* My blog caveat -Due to my condition (MS), I don’t type and must rely on the kindness of strangers to take my dictation and turn it into a blog post. Therefore, if you are offended by any mistakes (grammatical errors), my apologies..

As the New Year began, I reflected on all the New Year’s celebrations of old. I am a bit of a history geek and this week I stumbled upon an online collection of photos found in a PA mine. There was a photo of an Italian woman and her family when they arrived on Ellis Island in 1905 and another of Flappers at a soda fountain drinking milkshakes on Feb. 10, 1926. The two photos couldn’t have been more different. Yet they had one thing in common, a sense of hope for the future.

"The Greatest Generation" consists of people born in 1914-1924 after World War I.  They grew up in the United States during the deprivation of the Great Depression, and then went on to fight in World War II.  The term, The Greatest Generation, was the title of Tom Brokaw’s 1998 book. Mr. Brokaw felt the term was deserved as the men and women of that time didn’t fight for fame or glory, they did so because it was the right thing to do and it was that attitude that made America into a superpower.

When FDR delivered his Democratic presidential nomination acceptance speech in 1932 he said, "I pledge you, I pledge myself, to a new deal for the American people." The New Deal was going to use government as form of organized self help for all people regardless of class or status across the country. For the first time, every American had a shot at achieving the American dream of success with no birthright required.

Just a short twenty-nine years later, JFK stated in his 1961 inaugural address, “And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.   My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.   Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be our own.”

Now that 2012 is here, I can see that so much has changed. We are a country divided into red and blue states. We’re also a country where the wealthiest 1% of the country has more say than the remaining 99% of the country. We have allowed personal politics and beliefs to outweigh what is best for the (whole) country.

The last four years have been some of the toughest we’ve faced on the whole. At one point we teetered on the precipice of a financial disaster just a few hairs short of being a full blown Depression. Decisions had to be made for the good of the country, despite the fact that we were required to help bail out the very people who pushed us to the edge of the cliff.

We can debate the merits and drawbacks of the bail out until the cows come home. My question is, when are we going to put politics aside and start working toward a recovery together? “The Greatest Generation” had their differences which included class distinctions, gender bias and racial segregation. Yet they united to fight for democracy and a way of life for them, their children and countless generations to come.

The way of life they fought for has come to include programs like Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, without which many seniors and permanently disabled people would not have survived the last four years. Some call it socialism. I call it taking care of our own. The Great Depression brought the point home as the elderly, disabled and able bodied stood on bread lines together. Now the elderly and disabled have a safety net in Social Security. My grandfather and parents have benefitted from the program they paid into during these, their silver and golden years. Moreover, with Unemployment benefits, people who’ve been laid off have a source of income while they are looking for work. It’s not a lot of money but it beats nothing.

The system is by no means perfect. Despite regulations there are dishonest people who have played the system for all it’s worth until they were caught. The problem is these are the people who make it harder for honest people who now have to jump through more hoops to get help.

Speaking of hoops, the same applies to the practices of financial institutions, which went unchecked for decades and made billions of dollars until the proverbial chickens came home to roost and set off a domino effect felt from Main Street to the most distant parts of the globe. People lost their homes, once impenetrable financial stalwarts fell and global markets tanked. Here in America it led to an extreme radical outburst instead of a measured rational response. I don’t know about anyone else but if there’s a fire, I’d rather have trained first responders than the Keystone Cops show up to put it out.

Yet somehow the real victims, average everyday people and small businesses didn’t get the same treatment when they needed help to get back on track. What particularly struck me was a recent article about the upcoming South Carolina Republican Primary in which it stated that small business owners might be a little more tolerant of a candidate who made his fortune dismantling companies and putting people out of work.

In case you haven’t figured it out. I’m a New Yorker. However, my mother was born in South Carolina. As a child, I remember visiting her home town of North, South Carolina. It was the closest thing I’d ever seen to Mayberry. There were little shops, candy stores and an ice cream shop that had the best black walnut ice cream I have ever tasted. It was classic Americana.

Fast forward thirty-seven years and this once vibrant place was a ghost town. Gone were all the mom and pop establishments. There was a gas station, Subway and a Piggly Wiggly supermarket. In order to get groceries, we had to travel fifty-two miles round trip to get to Walmart. What was more depressing was the knowledge that North isn’t an isolated case. There are ghost towns all across the country as the real back bone of our economy, small businesses, aren’t able to compete with Goliaths like Walmart.

What truly amazes me is America fiddles while Rome burns. When are we going to turn off the Real Housewives of whatever, The Jersey Shore, Basketball Wives, and Mob Wives just to name a few and pick up something other than In Touch, US Weekly, People and OK magazine to see what’s happening around us? It’s time to get involved in turning our country around and stop following the latest Twitter war. Perhaps then we will stand a chance to raise ourselves and our children to the level of the next Greatest Generation. It’s time to pick up a newspaper and read what the issues are instead of listening to a two minute sound bite (from the left or right) and call ourselves informed. The economy and jobs and the presidential election should be trending on Yahoo instead of the Khardashians or Kobe Bryant’s divorce.

Don’t misunderstand; I have nothing against entertainment or celebrities. They have their place. During the Depression entertainment served as a way to escape the problems of the world for a little while and then people got back to reality. I believe it’s time we stop anesthetizing ourselves and get involved in things that matter and not the latest cat fight, beer brawl, celebrity wedding and divorce. Somehow, I can’t picture Walter Cronkite delivering the news about a celebrity divorce or a baby bump watch. Now I can find out just as much about Hollywood and reality stars on the evening news as I did on Entertainment Tonight. What does that say about us?

In the end, I am hopeful that in the midst of the many New Year resolutions made that a few of us will resolve to get engaged in the business of getting our country back on its feet. One day, I’d like my grandchildren to say that I was a part of the second coming of The Greatest Generation. Don’t you?