Big Love: Damn the Spanx! Full Speed Ahead into Your Future.

On the surface dating and relationships should be the same for everyone across the board but it isn’t. Thin women reign supreme when it comes to the definition of beauty in this country. There isn’t a week when you don’t see a picture of Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie or Kim Khardashian on the cover of any given tabloid. Moreover if you flip through the pages you will see even more women who meet the thin standard of beauty. Sure there is a lot of talk about curves but if you’re one of the 74% of women in the United States who are considered full figured (size 12, 14 and up) you are usually hard pressed to see what curves they are referring to. Anyone have a magnifying glass?

What’s most interesting is many of these women have the same dating, relationship and marriage problems that plague the rest of us mere mortals. The truth is Brad and Jennifer, Katie and Tom, and Halle and Gabriel couldn’t make it work. That leads me to think what’s size got to do with it? Apparently while nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, it does not guarantee happily ever after.

If you’re a plus size woman, you might have given up hope on finding that special someone to spend your life with. I’m here to tell you there is hope and it starts in the mirror and not on the scale. I am living proof of that. I’ve been in a relationship with a great guy who loves me for me. We’ve been together for almost 7 years. I’ve already picked out my engagement ring and all that’s left is to set a date.

I know that confidence made the difference for me. I used to sit at home upset over my size. That’s when I decided that I was tired of being sorry for my size. I’ve .survived cancer, raised twin sons alone and I’m living with MS. One of the benefits of being north of forty is the wisdom and confidence that comes with knowing who you are. I discovered my voice for curvy romance novels. I’ve written six including Not His Type. I have two others, Mulligan’s Match and North of Forty that are just waiting for the right publisher. My goal is to use my curvy confident characters to inspire women to get out there and get the relationship they want. In other words, Damn the Spanx! Full Speed Ahead into Your Future.

All of this is much easier said than done. However, nothing will happen if you don’t take the first step toward finding the right person for you. All you have to do is remember a few things:

• Confidence is sexy. Ne Ne Leakes’ tag line might be over the top but it works. When I walk into a room, I own it!
• Don’t settle for anything less then what you want. Guys can smell desperation a mile away.
• Remember you can be sexy. However, there is no need to let the girls hang out to get attention. A little cleavage goes a long way.
• Don’t be too influenced by magazines that tell you how to drop two sizes in a month. It’s important to eat right and exercise but no one wants to have dinner with a nutritional mathematician
• Full figured doesn’t mean full speed ahead to the bedroom. You might wear a size 14 plus but you don’t have to slip out of it right away.

Dating and finding love isn’t easy but nothing worth having is. Don’t let the scale or tag number rule your love life. If it takes a little fashion help, visit my friends, The Curvy Stylist, Daily Venus Divas and Plus Model for tips and inspiration online and on Twitter If you need t pump up your romantic Mojo, my romance novels are just a click away for your e-reader or head to the bookstore. Your Cinderella story could be right around the corner..