Post Memorial Day Reflections and Realizations

This Memorial Day, I happily watched my sons man the grill, enjoyed the sun and the spring breeze. There were the traditional parades, national ceremonies in Washington D.C. and a lot of great television programs about wars past and present, I always feel that we miss the point of the holiday and are more concerned with our menu, libations and games. I’m not a wet blanket. I believe you should spend your day off any way you’d like to. However I would like us to take a little time out to remember the sacrifices our servicemen/servicewomen and their families made in the past and continue to make everyday. Goodness knows they deserve it. 

For some reason this Memorial Day I found myself thinking about our government on the whole. I went back over the last month’s worth of headlines to gauge just how dysfunctional and vitriolic our democracy has become. Naturally, we blame the politicians but I’m sorry to say that we have to shoulder some of the blame for just how crazy Washington politics have become. We can’t lay the blame on the right wing or left-wing, conservatives, liberals, Republicans, Independents or Democrats. Believe it or not this is completely non-partisan. The fact is we are suffering a national case of selective ADD. At this moment there are a lot of things going on in the government that we aren’t paying attention to despite Fox and MSNBC’s constant biased loops. To be fair, Fox has a host that seems to break away from their usual formula. MSNBC has programs and hosts that truly bring in varying and often opposing views. Yet the overall focus of the current “scandals” with the exception of the AP issue (I am a writer after all) is on things that don’t affect the American public. Now I know you’re thinking what about the IRS? Isn’t that something I should worry about? The actual number of regular folks that get audited is rather small considering the number of returns that are filed yearly. This IRS flap has to do with social welfare groups being scrutinized because they get a tax exemption on the money they raise under 501 (c) 4. Was it wrong to target conservative groups? Yes. Although the groups in question didn’t raise enormous amounts of tax exempt money other groups like them have. The problem is this money is supposed to further social education. Yet many of the larger groups (conservative and liberal) have distinct political agendas to further. Whether you’re a Democrat or Republican it should give you pause. Once you’ve filed your taxes or applied for an exemption or earned income credit both you and your accountant qualify to be an acrobat for Cirque du Soleil for all the twisting and turning you had to go through. 

The deficit has decreased and people in D.C still want to cut essential programs. In fact, they are cutting them as I write. Why isn’t anyone paying attention? Stand on any checkout line and you will get your answer. Snooki has a smoking hot post baby body. Kim Khardashian is upset that her feet are fat and she’s gained weight as a pregnant, recent divorcée. One of the teen moms did a sex tape for 1.5 million dollars. Katie Holmes is getting too skinny because she’s scared of Tom Cruise’s influence on their daughter. Naturally she is one of a few scary skinny celebrities. I didn’t have to turn on the television to get this information. I read it in line. Though it’s true I could get the same information watching the scroll on the bottom of the news broadcast. We are more interested in reality television personalities than we are in our lives and the things that can actually affect how we live. Don't get me wrong, I believe the movies saved so many people during the Great Depression. It gave them the chance to escape from the harsh reality of their lives. The truth is reality still bites and we do need a diversion. Entertainment isn't the problem.In fact, its doing its job quite well.

That said, having our attention diverted is different from being in a coma. If you love the Real Housewives, watch it without shame.

 

This isn't a fire and brimstone condemnation of our society's "guilty pleasures" (I know you hate that term Michael) After all, I’m a wedding and romance author. There is nothing I like more than writing books for readers to escape and enjoy on a park bench or at the beach. I think we should exercise the freedom our military has protected for us and if that means watching Big Brother, The Voice, Duck Dynasty, Dance Moms or reading the latest Harlequin, Cromwell, Patterson or Grisham then have at it. John Lennon said “Whatever gets you through the night. It’s all right.” I only ask that we devote as much attention to the real drama in the world as we do the latest television cat fight, NBA playoff game, French Open, US Open and The Hangover Part Three.

My boyfriend, Michael B is an intellectual. He loves to read. He cannot stand reality television. He’s not alone; my father doesn’t like it either. However, both are sports lovers and delight in political and current event debates. It gets them through the night so it’s all right. They’re demonstrating the true meaning of what it takes to be fair and balanced in real life.

Reality Television with women over 40:It's our Second Act with a soft script and plenty of cameras

If you are north of forty like me, you grew up with scripted sitcoms and dramatic television shows. I recall the days when our friends would gather at the back fence to discuss what just happened on General Hospital in the Luke and Laura days. Once the commercials were over, we raced back inside determined not to miss a word.

I'm a part of the MTV generation when it actually aired music videos. I remember all the excitement when the network announced a new show called The Real World. Back then I followed the show for a few installments before real life got in the way. At the time reality programming was the exception and not the rule. Boy have times changed.

When Bravo's Real Housewives of Orange County show proved to be successful it wasn't long before we had several incarnations from New York City, New Jersey, Atlanta, Miami and Beverly Hills. Something about the shows brought out the voyeur in all of us. Technically the shows were noble in their concept. They wanted women to see and aspire to be like the successful women on the show. Unfortunately I've learned the road to hell really is paved with good intentions.

I decided to add this aspect to my blog not as a way to downgrade the women who are on the show. I am not one who knocks anyone's hustle. However, whether it's editing or not, a number of these ladies are not portrayed in a positive light. By the way, I'm including Big Rich Texas, Big Rich Atlanta and Love and Hip Hop.

A few years ago, I worked with a production company to do a wedding show. At the time Down That Aisle In Style A Wedding Guide For Full Figured Women had just been released. I made the rounds with very experienced and Emmy award winning producers. The idea was a show about curvy brides and how to find the right gown for their wedding while giving the audience a peek into their lives and loves as full figured women. The networks loved the idea but they heard the term full figured and it was translated as fat. I was ahead of the curve considering the number of wedding shows on television today. It's all in the timing. It was much more fun to have crazy out of control brides hamming it up on television for 15 minutes and a paid honeymoon.

Generally, I like the women of the Real Housewives. Nevertheless, I can't help but notice how reality television fame has changed them.  I feel Ne Ne Leakes from Atlanta was an instant hit because she was a woman the audience related to and her sayings and frankness endeared her to many. As for Vicki Gunvalson, I like that she's an independent business women. She clearly understands what it takes to be successful on a professional level. However, she can say it all day but I don't think her love tank is full. If her daughter brought a man home similar to the one Vicki is dating there is no way she'd sit still for that. I truly feel that once we get older, we ignore the same signs that would have sent us running fifteen years ago because we don't want to be alone.

I used Ne Ne and Vicki for reasons as they are two ends of the spectrum.When Ne Ne felt that Greg wasn't treating her the way he should, she divorced him. Now they are getting married again on Bravo in the fall and it seems to be a reaffirmation that love indeed does cover a multitude of sins. On the other hand, Vicki is with a man her daughter clearly doesn't like or trust. Brianna has stated that she, her husband and child would find their own place so Vicki can date as she likes. Vicki has stated that she's never been without a man in her life. I would submit that some Vicki time might do her some good. Her happiness shouldn't depend on whether or not she has a boyfriend or not. Her true happiness depends on Vicki.

Now for the south of forty women in the O. C., Alexis should probably think twice before she uses the word bully again. According to Webster dictionary a bully is a blustering browbeating person
or one who is habitually cruel to others who are weaker. I don't believe the women were bullying her in Costa Rica. Alexis isn't a weak person. The women pointed out how people may perceive her when she talked about the things she has.I looked at it as if she had a piece of spinach or lipstick on her teeth. A friend will alert you to the situation so you don't spend the whole evening with spinach stuck in your teeth.  The latest Orange County season has yet to run its course but I am sure there is a lot of drama ahead.

These reality shows have allowed a number of women to promote businesses, land endorsement deals, get book deals and get their own shows (daytime talk and spinoffs). I can't help but think of at what price glory?

I'll be tuning in to see what's happening in reality television. Although, I won't blog on a daily basis, I will pop up from time to time to share my musings about the show.