Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Olympics- A Lesson in Unity for the United States


Like millions of people around the world, I enjoy watching the Olympics. While I may not watch every event, I am still awed by the pageantry and the astonishing abilities of the athletes who are chosen to represent their countries.

 When I was younger, I never gave the symbols of the Olympics much thought. I was caught up in the competition as I rooted our American athletes on from the comfort of my living room. I believed the games were about athletic excellence and winning medals. Now that I’m north of forty, I know the true meaning of the games is indeed unity.

As Americans we like to say there’s no “I” in team but while we impress this upon our athletes, we don’t impress it upon our politicians. In the Declaration of Independence our founders said "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” The founders recognized that although we were a nation of individuals, we were a united nation.

This is taken a step further by our Pledge of Allegiance, which says in part,: "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

The word, indivisible jumps off the page, as it means not divisible; unable to be divided or separated. Currently the state of our nation is anything but inseparable. One of the great aspects of America has been our willingness to engage in thoughtful political debates. Although many had (and still have) opposing political views, we remained dignified and respectful of the political process.

Now we have dissolved into a nation of political pit bulls engaged in a national dog fight over everything from gay marriage, health care and taxes to who are real Americans and where the real Americans live. Then there is the great economic divide of the haves, the have nots and the have plenty but still want mores. It seems the politicians, media and super rich are there to throw one piece of meat into the ring for the rest of us to fight over so we don’t notice that there’s plenty of meat outside of the ring. I am aware that I’m over simplifying it but there aren’t enough hours in the day to break it down. I suspect that the tone of political discourse in this country has led many people to vote for the next American Idol en masse instead of heading to the polls to vote for issues and candidates that will actually affect their lives. It’s one of the reasons I believe the Olympics are important.

Though great tragedies like 9/11, Hurricane Katrina and the shootings in Aurora, Colorado have both united and brought out the best in many people, the Olympics allows us to unite as a nation to bask in the pride of sending our best athletes onto the field of play to represent the best of us with tears of joy, not tears of sorrow. We’re also reminded our best goes far beyond the participants. They are supported by mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, daughters and sons who sacrifice so they can achieve their goal of Olympic glory. All Americans can relate to this sacrifice as every generation has done the same so that the next will do a little better. It’s the basis of the American dream. Regardless of whether you’re a Democrat or Republican, my deepest hope is that we take time to hit the reset button and concentrate on the real issues that affect all of us, which in essence haven’t changed since the Declaration of Independence was written. All and not some of us have the right to live our lives, the freedom to choose how we live and to pursue happiness.

Monday, July 2, 2012


Big Love: Damn the Spanx! Full Speed Ahead into Your Future.

On the surface dating and relationships should be the same for everyone across the board but it isn’t. Thin women reign supreme when it comes to the definition of beauty in this country. There isn’t a week when you don’t see a picture of Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie or Kim Khardashian on the cover of any given tabloid. Moreover if you flip through the pages you will see even more women who meet the thin standard of beauty. Sure there is a lot of talk about curves but if you’re one of the 74% of women in the United States who are considered full figured (size 12, 14 and up) you are usually hard pressed to see what curves they are referring to. Anyone have a magnifying glass?

What’s most interesting is many of these women have the same dating, relationship and marriage problems that plague the rest of us mere mortals. The truth is Brad and Jennifer, Katie and Tom, and Halle and Gabriel couldn’t make it work. That leads me to think what’s size got to do with it? Apparently while nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, it does not guarantee happily ever after.

If you’re a plus size woman, you might have given up hope on finding that special someone to spend your life with. I’m here to tell you there is hope and it starts in the mirror and not on the scale. I am living proof of that. I’ve been in a relationship with a great guy who loves me for me. We’ve been together for almost 7 years. I’ve already picked out my engagement ring and all that’s left is to set a date.

I know that confidence made the difference for me. I used to sit at home upset over my size. That’s when I decided that I was tired of being sorry for my size. I’ve .survived cancer, raised twin sons alone and I’m living with MS. One of the benefits of being north of forty is the wisdom and confidence that comes with knowing who you are. I discovered my voice for curvy romance novels. I’ve written six including Not His Type. I have two others, Mulligan’s Match and North of Forty that are just waiting for the right publisher. My goal is to use my curvy confident characters to inspire women to get out there and get the relationship they want. In other words, Damn the Spanx! Full Speed Ahead into Your Future.

All of this is much easier said than done. However, nothing will happen if you don’t take the first step toward finding the right person for you. All you have to do is remember a few things:
  • Confidence is sexy. Ne Ne Leakes’ tag line might be over the top but it works. When I walk into a room, I own it!
  • Don’t settle for anything less then what you want. Guys can smell desperation a mile away.
  • Remember you can be sexy. However, there is no need to let the girls hang out to get attention. A little cleavage goes a long way.
  • Don’t be too influenced by magazines that tell you how to drop two sizes in a month. It’s important to eat right and exercise but no one wants to have dinner with a nutritional mathematician
  • Full figured doesn’t mean full speed ahead to the bedroom. You might wear a size 14 plus but you don’t have to slip out of it right away.

Dating and finding love isn’t easy but nothing worth having is. Don’t let the scale or tag number rule your love life. If it takes a little fashion help, visit my friends, The Curvy Stylist, Daily Venus Divas and Plus Model for tips and inspiration online and on Twitter If you need t pump up your romantic Mojo, my romance novels are just a click away for your e-reader or head to the bookstore. Your Cinderella story could be right around the corner..