Twerk On/Twerk Off

Twerk On/Twerk Off

 

I was 12 when I began reading Glamour magazine. Now that I’m north of forty, I pick up a copy when the cover model is thirty and up. Thankfully Editor-in- Chief, Cindi Lieve has had a number of cover models who are or very near my age.
 

The January issue featured 20. Major Don’t: The Pornification of Everything by actress and writer, Rashida Jones who after spending time catching up on videos, Instagram and blogs with her sisters noticed the prevailing theme of twerking, stripper poles, G-strings and boobs wasn’t being pushed by people trying to get noticed but the already established mainstream stars. Leading her to say making your private parts public is now cool and expected. Ms. Jones said she didn’t get the memo and she’s not alone. I didn't either,
 

It was during the halftime performance of the Thanksgiving Day football game with the Detroit Lions when a 21 year-old Selena Gomez performed in a skimpy outfit in what had to be cold temperatures. To clarify, she wasn’t half naked but her outfit was more suited for the beach than Detroit, Michigan in November. Some may think we’re jealous because we’re older women now but let me tell you from the time I was 16 to 23 to put it in today’s terms I was hot in a pair of jeans and a shirt. I didn’t have to put my boobs on parade. I also had parents to make sure all my seams, hems, zippers and buttons were in place.
 

Like Ms. Jones, I am not a prude when it comes to sex. Although, I’m a mother to twin twenty-something sons, I’m comfortable with sexuality and have no problems discussing it in a frank, open manner. Although I am pretty sure my sons would prefer if I’d use a filter. I love my sons but not going to happen.
 

I’m older than Ms. Jones but I remember when Duran Duran’s Girl’s on Film video was too racy for MTV. By today’s standards it might as well be Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Topless models with flesh colored G-strings, naked girls riding construction equipment, grabbing one’s vagina for a video or concert (makes me feel bad for all the hell the late Michael Jackson went through) is the norm. While everyone talks about the initial act it only lasts a minute. Why else would these artists be in such a hurry to put out another even more revealing video out? Chris Rock said it best “Here today. Gone today.”

I’m from Generation X which places me in the midst of the women’s movement and feminism. Gloria founded Ms. Magazine and Bella Abzug fought for women’s rights, equality in workplace, equal pay for equal work and the right to make decisions about our bodies. In a way all this gyrating, grinding and pasties is a step forward in owning sexuality. Conversely, it runs the risk of defining us by our sexuality as well even though we have the right to express it. In the movie The Accused, Jodie Foster portrayed Sarah Tobias a hard partying girl who is gang raped by three men and instead of putting the rapists on trial, Sarah’s character and past as a party girl is put on trial in an attempt to make her responsible for her rape. Granted it was a movie but it was based on a real life case.
I want to shake some of these women and tell them their actions have consequences as there is a whole generation of young girls looking to them as role models. Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are from the Disney family. I imagine they are trying to break free of the Mickey Mouse image now that they’re adults and I get it. I hate to tell you but those same girls who watched you on the Disney channel are still watching and taking it all in.

While I could continue to point fingers at the pop stars, I have to call parents on the carpet too. They have a responsibility to monitor what their daughters watch and to be a role model for them everyday at home. As easy as it is to  blame Nikki Minaj, Rihanna, Miley, Selena and Kim Khardashian, parents can’t abdicate their role to slow the growing pornification of everything in their homes. Watch the little dancing/gyrating vignettes in between Disney shows then remember that Ed Sullivan could only show Elvis from the waist up on his variety show. As a parent. I feel for you. Our children believe we were born fully formed from the head of Zeus and were never teenagers.  We couldn't possibly imagine what it's like if you're not emulating the latest pop star du jour. I remember when my best friend and I wanted to imitate Madonna's eighties look. Our parents collectively said no. We had to live with not being cool then but it's great not having photos our children can blackmail us with now. Stick to your guns. I know it isn't easy and they'll hate you forever ( approximately a week last I checked) I promise. Everyone will live.

However when she addressed pop stars, Ms. Jones urged them to stop saying they don’t want to be role models because they are. I believe as the daughter of Quincy Jones, she knows what she's talking about. Many pop and reality stars have clothing lines, perfumes and other products they promote on television and on the racks at Kmart, Walmart and Sears. Obviously teens don't have discretionary income. Therefore they are after mom and dad's money, which means they have to accept everything that comes with it beyond dollars and cents.
 

Like Ms. Jones, I'm expressing and opinion and not the gospel. You have the right to do and say what you want. Nevertheless, I'm afraid we are getting awfully close to shouting "Fire!" in a crowded theater.