Monday, August 20, 2012

The Pressure to stay thin from Mom-shells to Cougar – Shells

I usually reserve my mornings to write, catch up on business, see what happened in the news overnight and naturally listen to Sports Center courtesy of my sons. However, there came a point during the second half of Good Morning America that I tuned in for. ABC correspondent Amy Robach did a segment entitled Celebrity 'Momshells' Pressured to Look Perfect After Giving Birth and my ears perked up. 
We are a country obsessed with celebrity. Paparazzi lay in wait for the first baby bump showing when an actress becomes pregnant. Then those same photographers snap as many photos of the actresses post-baby bodies to see how fast or slow they lose the baby weight. Janice Min, former editor of US Weekly was one of the culprits responsible for the proliferation of perfect post baby bodies that graced their covers. Instead of making new moms feel better, it made them feel worse. Pregnancy lasts for nine months and during that time doctors are careful to remind you that even though prenatal vitamins provide necessary nutrients for both mom and baby there is no substitute for good, healthy eating. 

Conversely, there is no substitute for healthy weight loss. Many of the stars we laud have access to things most new moms don’t. They have personal trainers, chefs, nannies, housekeepers, drivers and the money to afford it. I’m always tickled when these same stars are asked how they are able to balance work and motherhood. Even B-list actresses make enough money from a couple of movies and television appearances than some women make in a year. 

When I had my twins twenty five years ago, I gained 29 pounds. I wasn’t trying to starve myself so I could snap my body back into shape. I had morning sickness all day until I was six months pregnant. Then it was discovered that my sons thought my uterus had bucket seats like a sports car. So there they were side by side on the sonogram. Ultimately I had a C-section but my abdominal muscles became the Hatfields and McCoys. No matter how many sit ups, crunches and machines I bought my stomach didn’t budge. Finally my doctor said the only way I would get a flat belly would be through surgery. I have a hard time getting my insurance which I pay for to cover my MS medications, I don’t think they’ll sign off on a tummy tuck to make me feel better. 

Then we have the flip side of the coin. It’s the pressure to be a Cougar-shell. Women who are over forty with the bodies of twenty somethings like Madonna, Demi Moore, Helen Mirren, Julianne Moore, Kelly Ripa and Halle Berry to name a few. Though we are in our sexual prime in our forties, fifties and sixties (Yay for us!), the truth is other things are in decline, mainly our metabolism. Now before you doctors and personal trainers go all nuclear because of the obesity crisis in this country, it is the truth. In order for us to raise our metabolism, we’d have to exercise anywhere from three to five hours a day. This sounds completely doable as long as you can afford it. Unfortunately, a lot of us are lucky to get to the gym twice a week. While the message is about getting healthy and reducing your risk for diabetes, hypertension and heart disease, the underlying subtext is being thin is the goal. I have MS, which is an autoimmune disease like diabetes, Lupus and epilepsy. One of the treatments I've undergone involves steroids, which I hate. On steroids it doesn’t matter whether you eat Twinkies or salads all day, you still look bloated. I do my best to avoid this course of treatment whenever possible. 

All of this makes sense in my head but I still feel like a failure because I don’t look like Halle Berry in a swimsuit and I know I’m not alone. I was happy to see Good Morning America shine a light on this subject and maybe if it can help one woman come to terms with her body and use a healthy approach to weight loss in the long run she’ll be a better and happier mother. Here’s to the continuation of hope.

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