Bravo! It’s hip to be round. Finally!

* My blog caveat -Due to my condition (MS), I don’t type and must rely on the kindness of strangers to take my dictation and turn it into a blog post. Therefore, if you are offended by any mistakes (grammatical errors) my apologies.

Remember David Bowie’s song Fashion? Whether you turn left or right fashion is all around us. If you are like me, you enjoy flipping through the pages of your favorite fashion magazines and are likely a Project Runway devotee too.

However, the one thing that I have noticed is that models do seem to be getting thinner by the minute. A few years ago, I went to Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in September to check out the latest from my favorite designers. As I walked around, I was shocked at how thin the models were in person. You know how they say the camera adds 10 pounds. Well my friends these ladies need it. As they sauntered out onto the runway, they looked like ghouls decked out in the finest couture. If only it was Halloween time.

For many years, I’ve had the privilege of knowing wonderful women who have devoted their lives to changing the way the world looks at plus size women. Valery Amador, the founder and driving force behind Venus Divas. Gwen DeVoe who founded a modeling school for plus size models and one of the organizers of Full Figured Fashion Week and Madeline Figueroa Jones, Editor in Chief of Plus Model magazine.

When Maddy posted the photos of today’s average size model to a plus size model together, the image was striking and unsettling. The difference between fashion models and real size women has grown from eight percent to twenty-three percent. To think that the supermodels of the past would be considered plus models at a size four today is astounding. What’s more unsettling is this is what many young women are aspiring to emulate if they want to get into modeling.

Though the women I’m talking about are all about empowerment and acceptance, they haven’t left health out of the picture. While it’s important to feel good about you, the most important thing is to take care of what’s on the inside as well. Contrary to popular belief, plus size women are not stretched out on sofas devouring cake, rack of baby back ribs and gallons of ice cream. Most are women seeking to balance a life that includes family, work, relationships and we’d like to look effortlessly stylish while doing it.

Thankfully we have curvy fashionistas online like Sheri Collins, The Curvy Stylist whose blog www.everybodywearsshoes.com follows fashion trends as well as providing you with tips on how you can make it work from your closet. Stephanie Danforth, who heads up Venus Divas Daily, gives us up to the minute content from fashion to relationships. There are countless others that can be found on Twitter and Facebook. You don’t have to look far to find inspiration.

Ultimately, I hope Maddy’s post and interview on ABC World News shines more attention on the issues real size women face and what we are possibly doing to young girls who are growing up with these images. I applaud her for having the courage to post the photos and now I think it’s up to us to make sure we keep shining the light on the issue. Yes ladies, it’s hip to be round.

Life North of Forty Plus. Do we have what it takes to be the next greatest generation?

* My blog caveat -Due to my condition (MS), I don’t type and must rely on the kindness of strangers to take my dictation and turn it into a blog post. Therefore, if you are offended by any mistakes (grammatical errors), my apologies..

As the New Year began, I reflected on all the New Year’s celebrations of old. I am a bit of a history geek and this week I stumbled upon an online collection of photos found in a PA mine. There was a photo of an Italian woman and her family when they arrived on Ellis Island in 1905 and another of Flappers at a soda fountain drinking milkshakes on Feb. 10, 1926. The two photos couldn’t have been more different. Yet they had one thing in common, a sense of hope for the future.

"The Greatest Generation" consists of people born in 1914-1924 after World War I.  They grew up in the United States during the deprivation of the Great Depression, and then went on to fight in World War II.  The term, The Greatest Generation, was the title of Tom Brokaw’s 1998 book. Mr. Brokaw felt the term was deserved as the men and women of that time didn’t fight for fame or glory, they did so because it was the right thing to do and it was that attitude that made America into a superpower.

When FDR delivered his Democratic presidential nomination acceptance speech in 1932 he said, "I pledge you, I pledge myself, to a new deal for the American people." The New Deal was going to use government as form of organized self help for all people regardless of class or status across the country. For the first time, every American had a shot at achieving the American dream of success with no birthright required.

Just a short twenty-nine years later, JFK stated in his 1961 inaugural address, “And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.   My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.   Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be our own.”

Now that 2012 is here, I can see that so much has changed. We are a country divided into red and blue states. We’re also a country where the wealthiest 1% of the country has more say than the remaining 99% of the country. We have allowed personal politics and beliefs to outweigh what is best for the (whole) country.

The last four years have been some of the toughest we’ve faced on the whole. At one point we teetered on the precipice of a financial disaster just a few hairs short of being a full blown Depression. Decisions had to be made for the good of the country, despite the fact that we were required to help bail out the very people who pushed us to the edge of the cliff.

We can debate the merits and drawbacks of the bail out until the cows come home. My question is, when are we going to put politics aside and start working toward a recovery together? “The Greatest Generation” had their differences which included class distinctions, gender bias and racial segregation. Yet they united to fight for democracy and a way of life for them, their children and countless generations to come.

The way of life they fought for has come to include programs like Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, without which many seniors and permanently disabled people would not have survived the last four years. Some call it socialism. I call it taking care of our own. The Great Depression brought the point home as the elderly, disabled and able bodied stood on bread lines together. Now the elderly and disabled have a safety net in Social Security. My grandfather and parents have benefitted from the program they paid into during these, their silver and golden years. Moreover, with Unemployment benefits, people who’ve been laid off have a source of income while they are looking for work. It’s not a lot of money but it beats nothing.

The system is by no means perfect. Despite regulations there are dishonest people who have played the system for all it’s worth until they were caught. The problem is these are the people who make it harder for honest people who now have to jump through more hoops to get help.

Speaking of hoops, the same applies to the practices of financial institutions, which went unchecked for decades and made billions of dollars until the proverbial chickens came home to roost and set off a domino effect felt from Main Street to the most distant parts of the globe. People lost their homes, once impenetrable financial stalwarts fell and global markets tanked. Here in America it led to an extreme radical outburst instead of a measured rational response. I don’t know about anyone else but if there’s a fire, I’d rather have trained first responders than the Keystone Cops show up to put it out.

Yet somehow the real victims, average everyday people and small businesses didn’t get the same treatment when they needed help to get back on track. What particularly struck me was a recent article about the upcoming South Carolina Republican Primary in which it stated that small business owners might be a little more tolerant of a candidate who made his fortune dismantling companies and putting people out of work.

In case you haven’t figured it out. I’m a New Yorker. However, my mother was born in South Carolina. As a child, I remember visiting her home town of North, South Carolina. It was the closest thing I’d ever seen to Mayberry. There were little shops, candy stores and an ice cream shop that had the best black walnut ice cream I have ever tasted. It was classic Americana.

Fast forward thirty-seven years and this once vibrant place was a ghost town. Gone were all the mom and pop establishments. There was a gas station, Subway and a Piggly Wiggly supermarket. In order to get groceries, we had to travel fifty-two miles round trip to get to Walmart. What was more depressing was the knowledge that North isn’t an isolated case. There are ghost towns all across the country as the real back bone of our economy, small businesses, aren’t able to compete with Goliaths like Walmart.

What truly amazes me is America fiddles while Rome burns. When are we going to turn off the Real Housewives of whatever, The Jersey Shore, Basketball Wives, and Mob Wives just to name a few and pick up something other than In Touch, US Weekly, People and OK magazine to see what’s happening around us? It’s time to get involved in turning our country around and stop following the latest Twitter war. Perhaps then we will stand a chance to raise ourselves and our children to the level of the next Greatest Generation. It’s time to pick up a newspaper and read what the issues are instead of listening to a two minute sound bite (from the left or right) and call ourselves informed. The economy and jobs and the presidential election should be trending on Yahoo instead of the Khardashians or Kobe Bryant’s divorce.

Don’t misunderstand; I have nothing against entertainment or celebrities. They have their place. During the Depression entertainment served as a way to escape the problems of the world for a little while and then people got back to reality. I believe it’s time we stop anesthetizing ourselves and get involved in things that matter and not the latest cat fight, beer brawl, celebrity wedding and divorce. Somehow, I can’t picture Walter Cronkite delivering the news about a celebrity divorce or a baby bump watch. Now I can find out just as much about Hollywood and reality stars on the evening news as I did on Entertainment Tonight. What does that say about us?

In the end, I am hopeful that in the midst of the many New Year resolutions made that a few of us will resolve to get engaged in the business of getting our country back on its feet. One day, I’d like my grandchildren to say that I was a part of the second coming of The Greatest Generation. Don’t you?

Women's Magazines; Is Anyone Listening?

Again I’d like to take the time offer this caveat. Due to my condition (MS), I don’t type and must rely on the kindness of strangers to take my dictation and turn it into a blog post. Therefore, if you are offended by any mistakes, I apologize.

Women’s magazines have long been a staple in publishing. However, as technology has evolved the state of publishing has changed. We can now get our favorite magazines digitally and most magazines have an online presence. For those of us who still like the tactile pleasure of flipping through the pages of an actual magazine, paper copies are still available.

One of the most appealing things is accessibility to the editors, staff writers and contributors for each magazine. Gone are the days of letters to the editors sent via snail mail. We can email and Tweet our thoughts, comments and suggestions directly to the magazine. The question is if they really want to hear what readers think.

Even with declining circulation numbers for some magazines, I realize that editors cannot be expected to answer every email. If they did, I don’t believe they’d have time to devote to content. Nevertheless, an inclusive magazine is more likely to retain and even gain more readers, recession or not. According to The Press Gazette, total circulation (including free titles) in the women’s lifestyle/fashion sector rose 1.3 per cent to 6.8m in the first half of 2011, according to ABC figures released in August 2011. I feel that the magazines with better overall figures were the ones that actually listened to the consumer. Those that didn’t saw their numbers fall.

I, like many other readers have emailed editors regarding specific articles. We aren’t trying to get a job or pitch a freelance article. Instead we wrote to share our opinions. More often than not, the messages were deleted without being read. It was a cyber slap in the face. Despite being a women’s lifestyle/fashion magazine, we were dismissed with a simple click of the delete button.

Women are the busiest people on the planet. We are working mothers, entrepreneurs, caregivers, wives, partners, sisters and daughters. Nearly every woman I know has so much going on, they need two plates to handle the overflow. Therefore, if we take the time to write, we aren’t doing so because we have nothing better to do.

We might not be A-list actresses, models, beauty moguls, fashion designers or the like. Nevertheless that doesn’t mean we don’t have something to add to the conversation. Sure, we like to read about celebrities but if I see another article about how an A-list star is juggling motherhood, getting her pre-baby body back and still finding time to walk the red carpet looking smashing, I am going to scream. The fact is their reality is a long way from most working mothers’ it isn’t funny. If you’re a mom with children under 12 the bathroom is practically your only sanctuary. and you don’t have the luxury of bringing an au pair or nanny to work with you.

Then there are the magazines for the north of forty readers.  I believe their overall goal is noble. They want us to know that forty isn’t fatal and we’re still vital, which is great. However, if they are trying to make us feel better with articles about women who are running marathons, running nonprofits, volunteering with orphans in Africa and  to top it all off, they’re doing it all while keeping a twenty something looking physique, I think they are missing the mark.

Frankly, I’m not sure whether it’s a case of magazines offices are so high up that  objects appear smaller than they really are or not. But the truth is more women over forty are fighting the middle age spread and don’t have the time to work out several times a week. It’s not that I don’t appreciate reading something inspirational but I’d like to see a few real women thrown in the mix for good measure.

What I am suggesting is that before you hit that delete button and send us into cyber purgatory, you might want to read what we have to say. You never know if an ordinary looking oyster may have a pearl in it.  Just something to think about.

The Revolution for Real Women

First I’d like to take the time offer this caveat. Due to my condition (MS), I don’t type and must rely on the kindness of strangers to take my dictation and turn it into a blog post. Therefore, if you are offended by any mistakes, I apologize.

January is the month when everyone is committed to making changes in their lives. These changes usually involve some sort of diet program. Though I have already expressed how I feel about these types of resolutions, I was compelled to write about it again as one of ABC’s most beloved soap operas, “One Life to Live, shuts down production in favor of The Revolution.

According to the show’s description, The Revolution is an uplifting, inspiring, and groundbreaking new daily show about health and lifestyle transformations co-hosted by a stellar team of experts who will help viewers with complete transformations in all areas of their lives. It focuses on improving your physical and emotional well-being, fashion, family, home design, personal finance, food, jobs and more. In addition to being a motivating and interactive resource for viewers at home, the show features a unique concept: each week one woman's five-month weight loss journey will unfold in just five days with daily results and a final transformation reveal on Friday.

It sort of adds another dimension to the saying, “the revolution will be televised”.

Illness isn't picky, I know a number of people who are living with chronic conditions that are outside of their control. Sickness doesn’t care if you work out  5 days a week or twice a month.  However, diet and exercise has shown to help with conditions like Type 2 diabetes, hypertension and heart disease.

To be honest, I am impressed that The Revolution promises to go one step further than just national weigh ins, They are focusing on the whole person. Nevertheless, once the team leaves and the cameras stop rolling, the participants are left to deal with the reality of their day to day life without Tim Gunn giving them daily fashion advice.

The struggle to build self esteem is one women of all sizes can relate to, Even a woman who wears a size 4 has her ugly days like anyone else. Nevertheless what most concerns me is the focus on getting into perfect shape. The truth is a 5’10 woman shouldn’t weigh 115 pounds. Conversely, a 5’3 woman shouldn’t weigh 250 pounds. The bottom line is neither are healthy numbers.

For me, the jury is still out on how I feel about these programs. The fact that Jessica Simpson has already inked a deal with Weight Watchers to lose weight after she gives birth speaks volumes to how obsessed this country is with being thin. Now that Beyonce had her baby it’s only a matter of time before they start the baby weight loss clock, Is it any wonder that mature women are becoming more susceptible to eating disorders?  In this world we want everything quick, fast and in a hurry, Somehow, we forgot  that it took nine months to gain the weight/ Therefore,   nine weeks to take it off might be a little unrealistic

The real revolution begins with self examination. I don’t mean standing in front of a mirror focusing your attention on all of your negatives. I am talking about soul searching and discovering what you like about yourself from the inside out. With nearly 70% of women in the United States considered plus size, it’s time we take ownership of the description rather than letting ourselves being defined by it. Whatever limitations we have are usually of our own making.

Here’s what I’m suggesting, the next time you head out with your skinny friends, don’t be the coat rack or purse watcher. Get on the dance floor. Instead of looking at the handsome man at the bar, introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. If he’s not interested in you as any more than a friend than that’s his loss Keep it light and move right along.

I think it’s time that curvy women revolutionize their lives,  Your personal revolution may not be televised but it’s just as important and life affirming, So let’s hop on the train ladies. The next stop is self confidence.     

Add A New Twist To the Same Old New Year's Resolutions

Now that the Christmas presents have been opened and the sojourn to return some of the presents that missed the mark begins at your local mall, it’s time to talk about the coming year.

Now that I’m north of forty plus, I have made more than my share of resolutions, most of which involved losing weight. In fact losing weight is the most common resolution made by the majority of people, regardless of age. To be frank, how could it not considering the number of weight loss ads that flood the airwaves just after Christmas.

Celebrities from Mariah Carey, Jennifer Hudson, Carrie Fischer, Valerie Bertinelli, Marie Osmond and Janet Jackson are all weight loss success stories as a result of their chosen program. Now we can add Charles Barkley to the list, who as an active basketball player in the NBA refused to be a role model when he played basketball, he’s signed on to be a role model for men via Weight Watchers.

I know that we’ve heard it all before. It’s not about losing weight to look better, it’s about getting healthy. Nevertheless the subliminal message is that thinner people are happier and more successful. However, I’ve learned that if you’re not happy with who you are as a person, there isn’t a diet program, plastic surgeon or bariatric surgeon that can help. For that you need to look inward and not outward. Improve the package all you like but if you don’t deal with what the underlying problem is, you might as well be a white washed grave and all of us know what they contain.

Now I am going to suggest something radical, make a New Year’s resolution to gain more of the truly important things in your life. Strive to gain more minutes, hours, days, months and years with the people you love. Add more positive daily affirmations into your life and stop finding fault with every little body imperfection (real or perceived).

This country is way to focused on whether or not you can wear a D & G sample size than anything else. I enjoy Fashion Police as much as the next person but if I hear Joan Rivers refer to another curvy celebrity as heavy, I’m going to scream. I realize she’s old school and that’s the way her generation talks but as long as she is on television in the Millennium, curvy women have fashionable choices to wear on the red carpet and a lot of them look better than their thinner counterparts.So Ms. Rivers, if you're not referring to a boxing match or a grand piano quit using the word heavy.

Naturally I understand that as a nation we need to do more to be healthy. I believe you should eat right, get plenty of rest and exercise. I just don’t see the need to be in the gym four hours a day with a personal trainer. In fact most of us in the real world are lucky if we can get to the gym twice a week as our paydays are far less lucrative than those in Hollywood and Beverly Hills.

That’s why I say ditch the scale and start working from the inside out. Once our deep seated feelings are addressed the rest is a piece of cake (no pun intended). The confidence you’ll gain along will go a long way toward lightening your step and your heart, which will ultimately make you more attractive regardless of your size. That’s something you can’t get from a toll free number, one on one consultation or group meeting.

Life in the middle lane- Taking the Crisis out of Mid Life

At one time turning forty meant an automatic mid life crisis. Suddenly, once confident thirty-nine year-old men were desperately seeking anything to make them feel youthful again. Some, not all dumped their spouses, got a sports car and proceeded to do every mid life crisis cliché from hair plugs to tanning to dating women south of forty. In fact women south of thirty were particularly ideal.

Don’t think for a moment that I’m letting women off the hook. Granted being perimenopausal or menopausal is enough to make any woman nuts, it’s not a get out of jail free card. We may or may not have dumped our spouses for younger models (though in terms of May/December romances it seems we’re playing catch up. I prefer to call it May/Indian summer romances after all we do hit our sexual peek in our forties into our fifties. I’m just saying )  However many women north of forty have become addicted to the fountain of youth. Botox, fillers, breast and/or butt implants and liposuction are so common now, it’s hard to remember that with the exception of reconstructive surgeries (after mastectomies or accidents) plastic surgery is elective. It’s wonderful to have so many aesthetic options but looking good can only go so far. Looking youthful combined with a youthful spirit and the wisdom gained over time makes us mid lifers a triple threat. In the words of George Bernard Shaw "What a pity that youth must be wasted on the young." How many times have you said if I knew then what I know now, how different life would be.  With that in mind, I am reminded of the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda episode of Sex and the City. We can’t cry over spilled milk once it’s on the floor all we can do is clean it up, move on and try not to spill anymore milk.

For now, I’ll go back to the aesthetic since the outside is the first thing people see. Think about it. Some of the hottest people in Hollywood are north of forty. Women are still drooling over George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Wil Smith, Robert Downey Jr. (I didn’t expect to put his name there either, but did you see his shirtless clip for Sherlock Holmes?) and Denzel Washington. Ladies like Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, and Pamela Anderson. Demi Moore haven’t dropped the ball either.

Again they have the time and money to invest in looking good. Most have a staff of people from personal trainers to chefs to plastic surgeons who make sure they don’t have to bring sexy back, it never left.

Here in the real world the majority of us are concentrating on making ends meet and looking for a hole in our schedule when we can get a workout in or just have a little time to ourselves. Nevertheless, we have choices in the middle lane and a lot to look forward to. Perhaps it’s a career change or the pursuit of a long held passion.  Whether you’re empty nesters, still watching Nick Jr. or trying to keep up with the ever changing moods of tweens and teenagers, embrace mid life as a time for positive change. I would say that if you’re thinking about a career change, pursuing a long held passion or toying with the idea of being the next great reality star (if you’ve seen reality television, think twice about that one) it’s up to you.. You can cruise, switch it into overdrive or slow it down. Whatever the choice, you’re still in control.

Life North of Forty: How to evolve gracefully from the "It Girl" to a Woman who still has the "It" factor

 Growing up I read Glamour, Essence and Vogue when they used models for covers.  Now as the world of the celebrity obsessed universe has grown, so has the use of celebrities as cover models. From fashion magazines to tabloids celebrity (Hollywood A- list to Reality "stars") covers are everywhere.  The level of scrutiny is intense to say the least. Now a number of female celebrities who are north of forty are under constant pressure to look perfect at all times.  It's reached the point that I believe most are consulting with a stylist before they run to Starbucks. God forbid they should look normal.

I applaud the many celebrities that have managed to stay "hot" long after their starlet and ingenue days are over. However, I feel I must say something about dressing for your age.  I don't care if you can crush walnuts with your thighs or bounce quarters off your abs and posterior.  There comes a point when it begins to look like you're trying too hard. I understand that it's hard to be in a spotlight fickle business, especially for women. We are truly living in generation Next!  To paraphrase something Chris Rock said some time ago, "Here today, gone today." Therefore it's important to been seen so that you remain relevant around the water cooler.

A few weeks ago at the American Music Awards, Jennifer Lopez caused quite a stir with her outfits as well as her dance routine for her performance. Bravo Jennifer you showed the world that you've still got it. But honestly, did anyone really want to see a forty-two year-old mother of twins bump and grind like that? Luckily her children are too young to say anything but I can guarantee you that if they were eight or nine, they wouldn't be comfortable. I won't even delve into what would have happened if they were teenagers. So until they invent some way for children to erase certain images from their minds, remember your children don't want to see their mother drop it low.

By no means am I encouraging women north of forty to don habits or wear something their great grandmother wouldn't be caught dead in. If that means lowering a hemline just a little, lower it. I know all about elongating your legs but just say no to the see you next Tuesday hems. You can elongate your legs without giving the world a view usually reserved for your gynecologist.

In truth, we have come a long way ladies. There are so many sexy fashionable options for women north of forty. When you're flipping through Vogue, Essence or Glamour to name a few, look for ways to make the trends work for you. Old time Hollywood stars like Audrey Hepburn and Katherine Hepburn remained classic as they aged. Their crisp style translated over the years and they never lost the "It" factor. People were still interested in what they had to say long after their days on the screen were over.

All I'm saying is if your stylist hands you a short dress and suddenly there are a flood of baby bump rumors online and in print, you haven't gained weight, it was the dress. There's nothing wrong with flaunting your fit figure, just pick the right silhouette, length and fabric and you'll give the "It girls" a run for their money. Not only do you still have the  "It factor", you know how to use it and that's one of the benefits of being north of forty.