Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Life in the middle lane- Taking the Crisis out of Mid Life




At one time turning forty meant an automatic mid life crisis. Suddenly, once confident thirty-nine year-old men were desperately seeking anything to make them feel youthful again. Some, not all dumped their spouses, got a sports car and proceeded to do every mid life crisis cliché from hair plugs to tanning to dating women south of forty. In fact women south of thirty were particularly ideal.

Don’t think for a moment that I’m letting women off the hook. Granted being perimenopausal or menopausal is enough to make any woman nuts, it’s not a get out of jail free card. We may or may not have dumped our spouses for younger models (though in terms of May/December romances it seems we’re playing catch up. I prefer to call it May/Indian summer romances after all we do hit our sexual peek in our forties into our fifties. I’m just saying )  However many women north of forty have become addicted to the fountain of youth. Botox, fillers, breast and/or butt implants and liposuction are so common now, it’s hard to remember that with the exception of reconstructive surgeries (after mastectomies or accidents) plastic surgery is elective. It’s wonderful to have so many aesthetic options but looking good can only go so far. Looking youthful combined with a youthful spirit and the wisdom gained over time makes us mid lifers a triple threat. In the words of George Bernard Shaw "What a pity that youth must be wasted on the young." How many times have you said if I knew then what I know now, how different life would be.  With that in mind, I am reminded of the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda episode of Sex and the City. We can’t cry over spilled milk once it’s on the floor all we can do is clean it up, move on and try not to spill anymore milk.

For now, I’ll go back to the aesthetic since the outside is the first thing people see. Think about it. Some of the hottest people in Hollywood are north of forty. Women are still drooling over George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Wil Smith, Robert Downey Jr. (I didn’t expect to put his name there either, but did you see his shirtless clip for Sherlock Holmes?) and Denzel Washington. Ladies like Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, and Pamela Anderson. Demi Moore haven’t dropped the ball either.

Again they have the time and money to invest in looking good. Most have a staff of people from personal trainers to chefs to plastic surgeons who make sure they don’t have to bring sexy back, it never left.

Here in the real world the majority of us are concentrating on making ends meet and looking for a hole in our schedule when we can get a workout in or just have a little time to ourselves. Nevertheless, we have choices in the middle lane and a lot to look forward to. Perhaps it’s a career change or the pursuit of a long held passion.  Whether you’re empty nesters, still watching Nick Jr. or trying to keep up with the ever changing moods of tweens and teenagers, embrace mid life as a time for positive change. I would say that if you’re thinking about a career change, pursuing a long held passion or toying with the idea of being the next great reality star (if you’ve seen reality television, think twice about that one) it’s up to you.. You can cruise, switch it into overdrive or slow it down. Whatever the choice, you’re still in control.

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