Use Romance Novels to live and love your best life

Romance novels are often the butt of many literary jokes. However, romance gets to laugh all the way to the bank as it is the most popular fiction genre. Others may blame these novels for setting unrealistic expectations for love, romance and relationships.

Although I've written my share of romance novels, I beg to differ. I write romances for real every day women be they single, divorced, mothers in a relationship, married or looking for their soul mate. Eventually, I get to the boy meets girl angle but I begin with the main characters. 

In Not His Type, The More Things Change, Mixed Reality and Mulligans Match, the characters go through a process to love themselves  look at themselves through the loving eyes others do. In Bliss Inc, Waiting for Mr. Darcy, I Take This Woman and North of Forty, the main characters are confident women from the outset. However, they are cautious when it comes to love. Perhaps a little too cautious. The lesson is to take a leap of faith for love with the possibility of a few scrapes along the way but the scrapes are survivable and the leap worth it to find love that will thrive.

The common factor in my novels is I feature curvy main characters due to the lack of representation in most romances. Usually curvy characters are the funny second bananas or best friend who encourages the typical romantic heroine (thin, raven haired with a tiny waist) in her pursuit of "the one". I'm generalizing as there are many romance genres within romance. I'm referring to the ones on the bookstore shelves for romance when I was in high school.

Thankfully romance has expanded to encompass all tastes. I don't want romance readers to feel they can't read one of my books as I represent the curvy niche. I'm about love from the inside out and believe it or not there are some women who are size 8 and below with body issues. The fact is one can't truly love until they love the person looking back at them in the mirror. Once you do that's when real love and romance happens. So tell the guys romance writers are doing them a solid. There is nothing sexier than a confident woman and if she's on your arm all the better.

I write romance to get a spark. What happens next is up to the reader. It's more than possible you'll be on the road to live and love fully knowing the best is around every corner. 


 You can check out the books here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_14/175-3602793-4754514?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=chamein%20canton%20kindle&sprefix=chamein+canton%2Cdigital-text%2C191

Happy reading!

Body Image: Fear and Loathing at the Checkout Counter

Every now and then when I pass a newsstand with women’s magazines, I feel a twinge of envy. I’m from the age when my favorite magazines focused on fashion, beauty, career, relationships and the latest exercise craze and diet. Now they include curvy women in fashion editorials and even explore the negative and positive side of body image. Marie Claire offers practical and fashionable advice with Big Girls in a Skinny World. Glamour’s real everyday women fashion photo spread includes curvy women. Even the High Priestess of Praying Mantis Fashion, Anna Wintour, throws a curvy model (their version) into an issue or two of Vogue.

However, my envy quickly dissipates once I lay eyes on the tabloid magazines with glossy cover images of celebrities and eye catching headlines. Today’s tabloids are a mix of celebrities, fashion, movies/music/television and plenty of gossip. Years ago men like my boyfriend feared conversations based on relationship article and tests their girlfriends or wives read in a woman’s magazine. Hey guys for the most part you’re off the hook. Nevertheless, you’ll still hear “we have to talk” on occasion. After all we’re still women and we love to talk about the state of our relationship. Unfortunately, “Does this fill in the blank make my butt look big?” has gone from a grenade to a minefield.

Traditional women’s fashion magazines are published monthly. The tabloids are published weekly and they are constantly shifting focus. One week, Guiliana Rancic is on the cover with the “scary skinny” caption. A week later, she’s the paragon of health and fitness. Reese Witherspoon graced a cover for her post baby body. A couple of weeks later, she’s at a spa to get rid of stubborn baby weight.

Kim Khardashian is pregnant. I’ve lost count of the number of magazines that are focused on her expanding waistline along with a current (baby bump) and pre-baby (bikini) photo. Another photo showed pregnant Kim in front of a gym with a caption that referred to a fear of getting fat. She is pregnant, right? She’s literally eating for two. She is supposed to gain weight. On a fashion note, Kim isn’t helping her cause. For God’s sake buy some maternity clothes! On a personal note at least maternity wear is fashionable now. I was pregnant in the eighties when the maternity section was basically versions of burlap sacks and house frau mu-mus with flowers or stripes. I burned my maternity clothes about a week after I had my sons. Now that I got that off my chest, is it any wonder that we have six year old girls that are afraid of getting fat?

We live in a country where generally bigger is considered better. Employees want big pay raises and promotions. Directors, producers and actors want big box office or big ratings. Businesses want big profits. Conversely, we are also a nation of extremes. There are shows that promote healthy cooking and shows based around bacon.  Television weight loss programs like The Biggest Loser and Dancing with the Stars which in my opinion is code for The Biggest Loser: The Celebrity Spandex and Sequins Edition. There’s a reason there are so many ads for antidepressants. 

I have nothing against making changes to live a healthier life. I think it’s necessary to eat well, exercise and get enough rest. I’m a cancer survivor with secondary progressive MS and Celiac disease. I get it. I’ve seen the statistics for obesity in America. I understand the correlation to health care costs. Nevertheless, why aren’t we just as concerned with being emotionally healthy when it comes to body image?

You have to get down to the root cause for why people overeat. For women it’s the message we get every time we pick up a magazine or glance at a tabloid. Perhaps it's time we reflect on the saying,  Physician Heal Thyself and apply it to our lives.

One must conclude that body image issues must be addressed from the inside out. If a healthy balance is achieved,  we’ll become tabloid bullet proof. However, celebrities, I am sorry to say that it won't stop the people who love gossip about plastic surgery or the latest secret romance or break up.  My boyfriend, Michael hates this saying but in this case it’s apropos, tabloids are considered a guilty pleasure. At the very least, I hope to put an end to body guilt