Monday, November 19, 2012

Tabloid Weight Stories-Sending Mixed Messages to Women

Like so many people, I see the enormous number of tabloid magazines in bookstores, supermarket checkout counters, pharmacy check out counters and countless other places. Once again, I glanced at the cover of In Touch Weekly with Kourtney Khardashian and Scott Dissick. Normally I look at it for a moment and keep going. However, this time a caption about Adele that caught my eye. I actually opened the magazine to read the article as I am a fan of Adele.

After I read the article,I noticed a theme that made me take action and write the magazine. Whether or not anyone will pay attention to it, I have no idea. But I put it out there in the universe. I thought I'd share it with you.

In TouchWeekly





I picked up the November 26th issue of In Touch Weekly. I was particularly interested in the articles that featured Adele, Kelly Clarkson and the crop of Hollywood celebrities who are too skinny.

I commend your magazine for covering both side of the aisle, so to speak. However, I feel that you may be sending mixed messages to young women and women who are north offorty like me. As you know, there has been a marked increased of eating disorders in middle age women.

My name is Chamein Canton. I’m a curvy novelist and wedding writer. I refer to my novels as curvy girl romances and still a chick lit for women over 40 who haven’t handed in their chick card for hormones, hot flashes or bifocals. I’ve written 6 novels Not His Type, Bliss Inc,. The More Things Change, Waiting for Mr. Darcy, Mixed Reality and I Take This Woman. When Down That Aisle In Style A Wedding GuideFor Full Figured Women (WindRiver Publishing) was released in 2006, I became an expert and appeared on The Insider, Get Married with David Tutera,The Today Show in New York, Eyewitness News Channel 7 Sunday edition and Fios’Push Pause. I’ve also worked on Newsday’s’ Bridal Planner twice

Body imageis what propels me to continue to write and contribute to newspapers and magazines about curvy women. I wasn’t always so evolved. For years I obsessed over the scale. I did some pretty stupid and dangerous things to lose weight. It took being diagnosed with cancer at 23 to put things into proper perspective. My obsession didn’t just take a backseat; I threw it out of the window.

Cancer changed me. I learned that in the end all that mattered was love and not size. The key to feeling and looking beautiful begins with self love; a love that includes body acceptance, setting realistic goals for your body and living a healthy lifestyle.

Now as a woman living with secondary progressive MS, I use my novels to help empower women to embrace their bodies and not be afraid to take chances in life and love. I made plus size the main character and love interest instead of taking on a second banana role (friend, mother).

I was affected by Hurricane Sandy and like many others it changed my life. I have learned to appreciate the small things in life like electricity, food, heat and I really value family and friends more than ever before. I know when the hurricane hit, they weren't concerned with how I looked, they worried that we were all right and what they could do to help.

To that end, though you cover entertainment, I would love to read about curvy celebs who have truly embraced their body and are grateful for the many blessings celebrity has given them. I believe we’ve seen one too many “proud curvy celebrities” jump off the bandwagon when Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig calls.

Thank you for your time.

Best regards,

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Women in the 2012 Election- The Sound and The Fury

There is quite a bit riding on this election from the economy to education. However, one of the most important issues is one that has to do with more than half the population, women's rights.

A number of candidates have brought the issue of rape and contraception to the fore. There have been many references to God's will. Admittedly, I am not u

p on biblical verses as some but I do remember something from the Old Testament, Deuteronomy 22:25-27

King James Version (KJV)

25 But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die.

26 But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter:

27 For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.

I am using the King James version as that seems to be the most commonly quoted. As to the last verse, apparently if a woman was raped in a field and no one was heard her cries for help, that woman wouldn't be subjected to punishment because if someone heard her cries then the rapist would be subjected to the punishment of death (usually by stoning). Though unstated the sin of rape isn't washed away from the rapist, I can only assume that his judgment will come by way of a higher power.

I suppose that's why I find the term legitimate rape or a child that is born out of an act of violence as God's will so perplexing when it comes out of the mouths of men.

When Akin said a woman's body can do something to stop the pregnancy from occurring in this situation, I was astounded. I personally call it the Dorothy's Wizard of Oz theory. If a woman who is being raped just closes her eyes and kicks her heels together three times. Poof! She's back home with her little dog. If we take rape out of the conversation, it almost sounds like a form of contraception. Oops! Forgot my pill or the condom broke. No worries. All I have to do is summon my super reproductive powers and stop nature in its tracks.

This goes beyond red or blue. It's about protecting our young women. I've had an experience with sexual abuse and though it happened ages ago it only takes a moment for me to go back and relive it.

Our daughters, sisters, aunts, cousins and grandmothers are at risk. Make no mistake there is nothing sexual about rape, the act is sex, the takeaway is violence. With so many girls beginning menses at young ages, we must do all we can to stand on the side of protecting them from this heinous act.

Who among us sincerely believes that if an eleven year-old is raped and becomes pregnant it's God's will? It's time to send a clear message to those who would prefer us barefoot, pregnant with no voice. I can assure you that we will exercise our vocal chords in the voting booth on November 6th. It's true that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. However, Hell truly hath no fury when our gender is ignored and underrated.

North of Forty Plus- Let’s boil this election down to our nation’s obsession, weight loss


When I was younger, I always said  my mother was the queen of the abject lesson no matter the subject.  Like many of you, I am getting election overload. There are countless pundits, polls and articles written to help us better understand what this Presidential election means. Unfortunately, some of the information has managed to confuse more people than enlighten them.

According to an article on www.abcnews.com  the weight loss programs, pills and everything in between is a 10 billion dollar a year business. Frankly, it’s modeled on failure to keep weight off once lost. Therefore, continuing a vicious yet profitable cycle.

When President Obama took office in 2009, America was in crisis. In fact it was too big to fail. After nearly twelve years of feasting at the all you can eat buffet, America had a real weight problem (financially speaking). The fact is the weight didn’t balloon overnight. It was a gradual process, one that previous administrations were quick to ignore until they couldn’t.

This is something I feel many people can relate to when it comes to gaining weight. No one goes to sleep one night and wakes up 25 pounds heavier in the morning. Weight gain is more insidious. A couple of pounds here and there over time add up. Once we are aware of the problem, we look for quick fixes to get the weight off, which is the wrong move. We didn’t gain the weight overnight so it will take time and discipline to lose weight.

Given the tools President Obama had, he was already at a deficit. When he was elected the Republican Party came out and said we’re going to make him a one term President. That’s the equivalent of being assigned to a Weight Watcher’s or Jenny Craig counselor whose main goal is to keep you fat. Therefore the President knew it was going to take time and made steady moves to lose the fat and keep it off. American hasn’t regained its fighting weight but we’re closer than we were four years ago.

People who lose and keep weight off successfully have done so by maintaining realistic goals, following a plan, making allowances for the occasional off day and exercising regularly. President Obama has followed a similar course and whether you want to believe it or not, it’s working.

Governor Romney hasn’t laid out a plan for how he exactly plans to improve the economy. Although he alludes to exemptions and deductions, he has no clear plan to cut the fat out, which in this case is at the top (1%). Instead he reminds me of an infomercial host or as my great grandmother would say, a snake oil salesman. He puts on that smile, holds up a bottle and says it contains the elixir to cure the country. Just vote for him, he’ll unleash its magical powers and Poof! America's pot belly and love handles will be gone. I don’t care how late you stay up at night very few people would pick up the phone and plunk down their hard earned money for something so obviously phony. I hate to say but while Governor Romney isn’t asking for your money, he’s looking for something far more priceless, your vote. Unfortunately under his plan (what he’s revealed) it will wind up costing far more dollars in taxes for the already overburdened middle class.

North of Forty- What the 2012 elections means for Generation X and beyond






North of Forty- What the 2012 elections means for Generation X and beyond


When there is talk of the election much is made of the senior and Baby Boomer vote with little attention paid to Generation X or the Millennials that will eventually have to deal with the frightening reality that is the Romney/Rand ( I mean Ryan. Freudian slip)  ticket. Again this isn’t a matter of red and blue. It’s a matter of the wealthy who don’t want to pay more for their lavish lifestyles but have no problem heaping the burden on the middle class.

I’m quite sure Mr. Ryan and Governor Romney studied the Enlightenment but I get the distinct feeling that they’ve forgotten the lessons learned from the American Revolution when the colonies took issue with the monarchy. Moreover, they haven’t learned the lessons from the French Revolution when after years of rule by a monarchy that favored the aristocracy a seething hatred bred throughout France. Once ruled by The Sun King, who was an absolute despot who built Versailles on the back of the peasants set in motion a blood soaked revolution where even the king and queen lost their heads…literally.

 I found an article to share that I found spoke to me. I hope you give it some thought too.

7 Ways Paul Ryan Wants to Betray His Fellow Generation X-ers

The Peter Pan of American conservatism is bursting with immature, half-baked ideas for the country. By Lynn Stuart Parramore http://www.alternet.org/election-2012/7-ways-paul-ryan-wants-betray-his-fellow-generation-x-ers?page=0%2C2&paging=off


August 30, 2012  |  
Last Wednesday in Tampa, Paul Ryan launched himself as the youthful face of his party, and much as been made of what he means to that ship of restless, and by now, somewhat battered, souls that sailed forth onto the American scene between the mid-'60s and mid-'70s. Is he truly a Gen Xer or not? His risk-taking, nose-thumbing at authority and taste for AC/DC and Led Zeppelin fit the image, but in many ways, he bears scant resemblance to his generational compatriots. His rigid political stance, for example, is atypical of a generation famous for its skepticism of institutions and party lines. And his white-bread-dipped-in-mayonnaise style is at odds with many of today’s multiculturally hip late 30- and 40-somethings.
But there’s one key way that Ryan fits a common negative image of Gen X: His is a case of seriously arrested development.
Ryan and I are exactly the same age. I attended the University of Georgia from 1988-'92, when young people were leaning toward the GOP. The political message of unapologetic self-interest was happy news to young folks, dudes in particular, who rejected the Baby Boomers’ collective ethos and really didn’t want to share their toys.
Most of my classmates were decidedly apolitical. Weaned on Watergate, Gen X had seen one disappointing charade in Washington after another, and largely concluded that politics was the realm of snake oil and empty spectacle. Alternative music, technology, entrepreneurial projects, and travel, particularly to post-Communist Europe, were the hot topics. Nearly anything but politics, which seemed unworthy of anyone’s time.
The first Gulf War got a minority of Gen Xers energized – a fact that has largely disappeared from memory. In 1991, a small group of UGA students pitched tents amid the stately neoclassical buildings of north campus to protest. Michael Kirven, co-founder of Bluewolf, a global technology consulting firm, was among them. I spoke to him about what motivated him at the time:
“This was the first issue where I felt like I could do something to make an impact,” Kirven recalls. “You had a clear sense that you could make your case: you were either in favor of the conflict, or against it.” He recalls the hostile environment, the round-the-clock police presence necessary to protect the protesters from angry hecklers. “From 5pm until midnight there was a non-stop parade of people not just disagreeing with us, but angry,” Kirven says. “A few wanted to have meaningful dialogue, but most of them just shouted. They threw things.”
At UGA, the war protesters were outnumbered by the Paul Ryan types, who welcomed the Gulf War as a chance to show off their muscular view of America, forged in the crucible of the Reagan Revolution. They were the Alex Keatons who worshipped wealth and conservative economics, the chicken hawk brigade that loudly supported a war they would never have signed up to fight themselves. Later represented in the punditocracy by the bow-tied Tucker Carlson and his ilk, they favored the novels of Ayn Rand, in which they saw themselves vindicated as misunderstood geniuses surrounded by mediocrity.
Paul Ryan, voted “Biggest Brown-Noser” in high school and born with enough money for Colorado ski trips and a surefire job at his family’s construction company, embraced libertarianism in college, where he interned with Wisconsin senator Bob Kasten and volunteered on the congressional campaign of John Boehner. Clutching his copy of The Fountainhead or driving the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile for a summer job, Ryan’s High Dork partly explains why so many of today’s pundits either give him a pass or pretend that he is a guy with serious ideas. Many of them are also dorks, harboring adolescent fantasies of their own misunderstood genius, hoping that no one will notice the superficiality of their thinking. Paul Ryan is their man – an intellectual slacker whose musings would not hold up for five minutes in a graduate seminar.
Paul Ryan’s politics have long since diverged from those of his generation, which gradually shifted toward the Democratic Party over the last two decades and manifests values that are left of most of what Paul Ryan stands for. (Gen X-ers leaned Republican by 5 percentage points in 1990, but in 2008 they favored the Democratic Party by 7 percentage points.) Ryan, however, seems to be stuck in the Reagan era, his jingoism and simplistic economic ideas amped up with an infusion of Tea Party fanaticism.
When you were in college in those days, if you were left-leaning and sought enlightenment, you read the mystic novels of Herman Hesse and Fritjof Capra’s The Tao of Physics (my own copy is floating around out there somewhere in a second-hand bookstore, complete with giddy marginalia). If you were right-leaning and sought self-gratification, you read Atlas Shrugged and talked about the sublimity of selfishness. In either case, you grew up. You began to separate the wise from the wacky, and you gradually understood what was original and what was merely derivative. You tested your ideas on the stage of tough experience. You evolved.
But Paul Ryan, until very, very recently, was still clutching his copies of Ayn Rand, making his staff read them and giving them away as presents. Rand's philosophy, a justification for continuing adolescent selfishness into adulthood, seldom sounds reasonable to people over 25. But Ryan was singing its praises at 40.
A successful businessman today, Michael Kirven admits that he has changed a lot since college, but wonders about Ryan. “I don’t feel like a guy like Ryan has had any evolution of ideas since his youth,” says Kirven. “My political views are inconsistent. I agree with Obama on some things, Romney on others. I could even find something to agree with in Herman Cain. But Ryan is just dogmatic. Maybe he doesn’t have the intellectual capacity for more complex thought. He really turns me off.”
Ryan has exhibited a disdain for Gen X, and the feeling is often mutual.
In a recent New York Times piece, 42-year-old Shane Smith, a founder of Vice, summed up a prevailing feeling of embarrassment at Mitt Romney’s choice of running mate among Xers: “I just wish that a Reaganite-friend-of-the-Tea-Party-frat-boy-jock was not our first poster boy.” Even Ryan’s music heroes, like Tom Morello, guitarist from Rage Against the Machine, have rejected him. (Jimmy Page, where are you?)
Instead of learning from the financial crash of 2008, Ryan is doubling down on the failed economic strategies of deregulation, budget cutting, and trickle-down that have sent inequality soaring and crushed the middle class. He is still talking about “makers v. takers,” the classic Ayn Rand formulation that presents the world as a black-and-white stage of good businessmen and bad everybody else.
Ryan’s discomfort with Gen X may spring from a very deep reason: He has big plans to sell us out. X has already suffered expectations of downward mobility, horrific recessions, job insecurity and the capture of government by corporate interests. Ryan seems to be a guy who plans to add insult to injury and deliver his generation an extra sharp kick in the teeth as we face the daunting challenges of middle age in a crappy economy.
On almost any topic you can name, Paul Ryan has a plan to betray the values and beliefs of his age group. Most alarmingly, he is bent on stealing our future. Let us count the ways that Paul Ryan is out to screw Gen X.
1. Who, Me Retire?
When you hit 40, you tend to start thinking about your retirement. Currently, the lack of job security, pensions, union-crushing and decent retirement plans make this sort of thinking panic-inducing for Gen X.
Paul Ryan’s economic plans would shift the burden of Medicare to Gen X in the future by turning the program into a voucher plan. And if he has anything to do with it, we can kiss any safety net in our golden years goodbye. Gen X has long been suspicious that they will never receive Social Security. But it’s not because the program is in fiscal trouble (contrary to popular belief, it isn’t). It’s because sneaky politicians like Ryan would dismantle the program under the pretense of crisis so that the bankers can skim fees off of private accounts. He has advocated the partial privatization of Social Security – an idea which ought to have been swept away in the massive stock market crash of 2008. But Ryan, his star permanently in retrograde, was advocating handing our retirement to Wall Street in 2010. He dropped that exceedingly dumb idea in his current budget for the sake of political expediency, but his consistent worship of the so-called free market suggests that he hasn’t really changed his mind.
2. She-Orientation
The women of Gen X have made tremendous economic strides, and these tech-savvy, entrepreneurial and often exhausted ladies have been at the forefront of the work/life balance movement, seeking a decent existence for their families and reasonable returns on hard work. Is that too much to ask? Apparently.
Paul Ryan lingers in the Stone Age. He has consistently voted against workplace equity for women, opposing the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which makes it easier for women to file wage-discrimination lawsuits. Ryan is vehemently against a woman’s right to decide whether or not to terminate a pregnancy – oblivious to the fact that control over reproduction is a key element in women’s economic well-being and fair participation in the workforce. “I’m as pro-life as a person gets,” he boasted in 2012.
Ryan has tried to block access to abortion even in the case of rape. Along with swamp creature Todd Akin, he co-sponsored a bill that would have narrowed the definition of rape to restrict the number of poor women who can terminate a pregnancy through Medicaid. All told, he has co-sponsored more than three dozen anti-choice bills, and his budget would end all government financing for Planned Parenthood while throwing prenatal care and infant nutrition under the bus.
3. Reverse Robin Hood
At a time of the worst income inequality since the Gilded Age, Paul Ryan wants to give more tax breaks to the wealthiest Americans. If he had his way, the U.S. would eliminate all taxes on corporate profits, capital gains and dividends. He rejected a White House proposal for a minimum tax on millionaires, calling it “class warfare.”
Ryan claims that he would cut tax rates for all families, but that’s cold comfort for Gen Xers trying to secure or maintain their position in the middle class. Even after the Bush tax cuts, Ryan's reductions would only amount to about $1,000 a year for families with annual incomes between $50,000 and $75,000. And for rich people with incomes above $1 million? They get a windfall of $250,000 a year. Ryan says he would pay for these cuts by scaling back tax breaks. But he is also committed to maintaining low taxes on capital gains, a big source of income for the wealthy. Most of the other big tax breaks — like the mortgage interest deduction and pension and health tax benefits — help the middle class. Rest assured that any attempt to broaden the tax base without raising taxes on capital income would almost inevitably sock it to middle-class families. And if those middle-class tax breaks were not slashed to pay for Ryan's high-income tax cuts, other spending would have to be reduced further  — which would also screw the middle class.
4. Out of Sync on Gay Rights
Paul Ryan is very much at odds with his age group on gay issues. He's against same-sex marriage, despite the fact that a recent Pew Research Poll found that support for allowing same-sex marriage has increased among Gen X from 44 percent in 2008 to 52 percent in 2012.
Ryan supports a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, and voted against the repeal of the military’s unfair don’t-ask, don’t-tell policy. In 2009, he voted against expanding the federal hate crimes act to include brutality based on sexual orientation.
Ryan believes that gay Americans are unfit to adopt children, and in 2007 he broke with his party to support a bill outlawing job discrimination based on sexual orientation.
5. Enjoy Your McJob
Gen Xers are often viewed as unmotivated slackers with McJobs. In reality, they have faced extreme job insecurity caused by trickle-down economic theories, offshoring, union-busting, a corporate-friendly political climate, and the pervasive myth of shareholder value, which falsely holds that a corporation's only duty is to shareholders, rather than to workers or to society.
Amazingly, the Ryan budget does not include any provisions to create jobs immediately. And he wants to throw fire on the insecure employment trend of his generation and turn us into helpless wage slaves as fast as he can. He wants the Federal Reserve to focus solely on inflation (that’s conservative code for “keeping down wages”) and to abandon its mandate to bolster employment.
Despite the hardship in his own congressional district, Ryan voted against extending unemployment benefits on the pretext that it would add more than “one dime to the deficit,” when in fact, those benefits actually help reduce the deficit by providing income and tax revenues to the economy.
6. Environmental Laggard
A 2011 Pew poll showed that while not quite as enthusiastic as Gen Y, Gen X is more likely than older generations (particularly the so-called Silent Generation) to support clean energy and environmental protection and to believe climate change is occurring and is the result of human activity. Sixty-nine percent of Gen Xers advocate concentrating on developing alternative energy sources rather than expanding oil, coal and natural gas exploration. And they believe in tough rules and regulations.
But Paul Ryan is an environmental dinosaur. His lack of support for clean energy and climate change programs is well known, and has angered environmentalists. He has been in favor of cutting the budgets of conservation programs and eliminating White House climate advisers. Ryan receives big donations from the oil and gas industries and gets major support from the Koch brothers – two of the nation’s biggest polluters. The League of Conservation Voters gave him a dreadful 3 percent rating on its 2011 National Environmental Scorecard.
7. Old-Time Religion
Gen Xers were born in the wake of the Second Vatican Council in 1965, which transformed the Catholic Church for the modern world. They started out as the most Catholic generational group in American history, with one-third identifying as Catholics in 1990. But by 2010, about one in five had turned from the faith. It was only because one million Latino Catholics was added to the Gen X roster that 26 percent of Gen Xer are Catholics today.
Even though they reached adulthood as the Christian Right was asserting influence on the national stage, polls show that Gen X has become less Christian as they have grown up. But not Paul Ryan. He bills himself as a staunchly conservative Catholic, and would very much like to foist his beliefs on the rest of us. And yet even Catholics have trouble with him: The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) has denounced him for aiming to cut programs that help the poor and shovel money toward the rich.
***
In reviewing Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged in the National Review in 1957, the famed conservative writer Whitaker Chambers decried the book’s stridency and ludicrously simplistic notions: “It is when a system of materialist ideas presumes to give positive answers to real problems of our real life that mischief starts.”
Paul Ryan is nothing more than a smirky, overwrought boy full of mischief, who never wants to grow up and face the realities and complexities of life. Unfortunately, the shallow mental waters in which he swims have bred dangerous sharks that will feed on the achievements and security of his own generation. The college dork has evolved into an arrogant, screw-you-over-with-a-smile jerk who peddles piggishness and calls it “prosperity.”
And you wonder why Gen X never really trusted politicians.


About the author: Dr. Lynn Parramore is an AlterNet senior editor. She is cofounder of Recessionwire, founding editor of New Deal 2.0, and author of 'Reading the Sphinx: Ancient Egypt in Nineteenth-Century Literary Culture.' She received her Ph.D in English and Cultural Theory from NYU, where she has taught essay writing and semiotics. Parramore is a frequent commenter on political, economic and cultural topics on television, radio, and web outlets. She is the Director of AlterNet's New Economic Dialogue Project. Follow her on Twitter @LynnParramore.



Monday, August 20, 2012

The Pressure to stay thin from Mom-shells to Cougar – Shells

I usually reserve my mornings to write, catch up on business, see what happened in the news overnight and naturally listen to Sports Center courtesy of my sons. However, there came a point during the second half of Good Morning America that I tuned in for. ABC correspondent Amy Robach did a segment entitled Celebrity 'Momshells' Pressured to Look Perfect After Giving Birth and my ears perked up. 
We are a country obsessed with celebrity. Paparazzi lay in wait for the first baby bump showing when an actress becomes pregnant. Then those same photographers snap as many photos of the actresses post-baby bodies to see how fast or slow they lose the baby weight. Janice Min, former editor of US Weekly was one of the culprits responsible for the proliferation of perfect post baby bodies that graced their covers. Instead of making new moms feel better, it made them feel worse. Pregnancy lasts for nine months and during that time doctors are careful to remind you that even though prenatal vitamins provide necessary nutrients for both mom and baby there is no substitute for good, healthy eating. 

Conversely, there is no substitute for healthy weight loss. Many of the stars we laud have access to things most new moms don’t. They have personal trainers, chefs, nannies, housekeepers, drivers and the money to afford it. I’m always tickled when these same stars are asked how they are able to balance work and motherhood. Even B-list actresses make enough money from a couple of movies and television appearances than some women make in a year. 

When I had my twins twenty five years ago, I gained 29 pounds. I wasn’t trying to starve myself so I could snap my body back into shape. I had morning sickness all day until I was six months pregnant. Then it was discovered that my sons thought my uterus had bucket seats like a sports car. So there they were side by side on the sonogram. Ultimately I had a C-section but my abdominal muscles became the Hatfields and McCoys. No matter how many sit ups, crunches and machines I bought my stomach didn’t budge. Finally my doctor said the only way I would get a flat belly would be through surgery. I have a hard time getting my insurance which I pay for to cover my MS medications, I don’t think they’ll sign off on a tummy tuck to make me feel better. 

Then we have the flip side of the coin. It’s the pressure to be a Cougar-shell. Women who are over forty with the bodies of twenty somethings like Madonna, Demi Moore, Helen Mirren, Julianne Moore, Kelly Ripa and Halle Berry to name a few. Though we are in our sexual prime in our forties, fifties and sixties (Yay for us!), the truth is other things are in decline, mainly our metabolism. Now before you doctors and personal trainers go all nuclear because of the obesity crisis in this country, it is the truth. In order for us to raise our metabolism, we’d have to exercise anywhere from three to five hours a day. This sounds completely doable as long as you can afford it. Unfortunately, a lot of us are lucky to get to the gym twice a week. While the message is about getting healthy and reducing your risk for diabetes, hypertension and heart disease, the underlying subtext is being thin is the goal. I have MS, which is an autoimmune disease like diabetes, Lupus and epilepsy. One of the treatments I've undergone involves steroids, which I hate. On steroids it doesn’t matter whether you eat Twinkies or salads all day, you still look bloated. I do my best to avoid this course of treatment whenever possible. 

All of this makes sense in my head but I still feel like a failure because I don’t look like Halle Berry in a swimsuit and I know I’m not alone. I was happy to see Good Morning America shine a light on this subject and maybe if it can help one woman come to terms with her body and use a healthy approach to weight loss in the long run she’ll be a better and happier mother. Here’s to the continuation of hope.

Friday, August 17, 2012

A Tale Of Two Novelists

There probably isn’t a person out there that hasn’t thought about writing the American novel based on their lives or based on a character that’s a composite of the many personalities they’ve met along the way in life. I will tell you that there is nothing more satisfying than sitting in front of your computer and typing out the first few words that eventually turn into what you hope to be a dynamite, attention grabbing introduction. For Herman Melville’s Moby Dick it was “Call me Ishmael.” Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities was ‘It was the best of time, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.'

It’s the type of greatness, writers dream of and aspire to attain. I am one of those writers. Though I’d never consider my writing to be in Dickens or even Jane Austen’s league, I am an actual author and novelist albeit an accidental one. Growing up, I didn’t read the traditional bodice ripping romances. I found romance in Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Emma and The Age of Innocence. Therefore, it was a bit of a surprise to me when I felt compelled to write Not His Type. The story came to me after I watched a New York Yankees game. Before you heap all the not so nice adjectives about the best baseball team in the world, in my humble opinion, I am a life long Yankees’ fan a tradition proudly handed down to me from my great grandfather, Hannibal Donadelle, a man I’d never seen until my beloved cousin Ernie posted a photo of him from his entrance into this country on June 30 1918 at the age of 24, which means he was born a year before Babe Ruth. By the time he came to New York, Babe Ruth was in pinstripes.

 I digress. I wrote Not His Type based on my harmless crush on Derek Jeter. I’m older than Mr. Jeter, so I waited until he turned thirty before I allowed my crush out of the gate. Like many New Yorkers and other gossip readers, I read about the parade of lovelies the handsome Mr. Jeter has dated over the years. I began to ponder what would happen if a man like him dated an average woman. When I say average, I mean average in terms of size, which in this country is a size 14 or larger. That little thought turned into a manuscript and eventually I received a publishing contract from Genesis Press in 2006. In 2007 the book was released and I was honored to receive the Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice Award for Best African American Romance. 

I went on to publish five more titles with Genesis. Bliss Inc, The More Things Change, Waiting For Mr. Darcy, Mixed Reality and I Take This Woman. All of the books were mass-market paperbacks which are small, usually non-illustrated, and an inexpensive bookbinding format. The books usually retail for about 6.99 or 5.34 approximately when sold at Walmart. In my joy of being published and seeing my name on the bookshelves, I failed to notice the signs around all around me about my publisher. The advances paid were relatively small and meted out in three dated installments, which almost never were met on time. I didn’t want to make a fuss. After all I was lucky to have a publisher and considering the competition to get published, I felt I needed to count my blessings. 

To say that I have changed my mind is an understatement. My experience has been a costly one. I am a cancer survivor and I have been living with MS for 16 years. Yesterday, I reached a milestone. I have survived 16 years longer than my doctors thought I would when I had cancer. I well remember the days when my 30th birthday wasn’t a foregone conclusion. I am thrilled to be north of forty and will continue to pursue my career as a writer. I never expected to be Nora Roberts or Debbie Macomber but I did hope to make enough to afford having an expensive disease like MS. The costs of the injections alone are nearly four thousand dollars a month and that doesn’t include all the other medications to manage the pain and spasticity. 

I would like to use my experience as a cautionary tale. If you want to be an author and you have a manuscript be sure to have an agent who can negotiate a good contract for you and more importantly put you in line with reputable publishers. Like a lot of people I am better with others than I am when it comes to me. I will watch out for my clients like a hawk, unfortunately that left my back uncovered. 

In the midst of all of this I have discovered that I am living a tale of two novelists. The first, a hopeful author giddy with excitement about her first published fiction work. The second novelist. a bit more hardened, cautious and even worse a little more than jaded. However, I have chosen to look forward and past my experience with my previous publisher. There is still joy in creativity to be found. I am still writing my and while I ready myself for a battle. I am committed to continue to create curvy main characters for my romances. I have completed two manuscripts that I truly hope will find a home and get me back on the shelves and e-readers.

 I want to thank all the people who have emailed me to ask about my next novel. Please know that I appreciate your interest and ask you for your support as I make my case to get to another publisher. These days, it’s all about having support and I know that women are the largest group of book buyers and romance is the top selling fiction genre. So please like my page on Facebook Chamein Canton Chick Lit Wedding Romance and following me on Twitter. I’d love to keep the women with the boobs, bellies and butts in print as inspiration to feel sexy and take some risks in your love lives whether you’re single, committed or married. Believe me, you’re worth it.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Style, Romance & The Big Girl







At 12 years old I began my love affair with fashion and wedding magazines, much to my mother’s chagrin I might add. This was before the age of the celebrity cover girl when actual models appeared on the covers of magazines. Unfortunately it was before the politically correct term of plus size was used. Therefore, you were hard pressed to find a figure over a size 8, which apparently in the modeling world practically made you a heifer.

Fast forward thirty plus years and there have been many positive changes in fashion, It has become more inclusive of all sizes. I’d love to believe that they saw the light but the fact is they saw the red ink of straight sizes and the increase of black ink for designers and fashion companies that make stylish clothes for plus size women. Although we’ve come a long way there are still naysayers. According to an article published in the New York Times during Full Figured Fashion Week entitled Plus –Size Revelation: Bigger Women Have Cash, Too.

The plus-size market increased 1.4 percent while overall women’s apparel declined 0.8 percent in the 12 months leading up to April 2010 versus the same period a year earlier, the most recent figures available, according to NPD Group, a market research firm. The article goes on to say that although Americans have grown steadily heavier in the last decade, women’s plus-size clothing still makes up only 17 percent of the women’s apparel market today, according to NPD. There just is not much supply or variation in plus-size clothes for women to buy, said Marshal Cohen, chief industry analyst at NPD. And the big retailers have mostly stayed away.

Cost is one issue. Plus-size clothes are more difficult, and expensive, to make than more traditional sizes. Material can be the largest portion of a garment’s cost — up to about 60 percent — and larger sizes require not only more of it, but sometimes different production processes. “It's not just about how much fabric is required,” said Deepa Neary, a retail consultant at A.T. Kearney, a consulting firm. “You’re actually using wider bolts of fabric, and that sometimes requires special machinery to produce the garments. You often don’t get to pass that on to the consumer, so your margins are not as high as the regular-size clothing.” (New York Times June 19, 2010)

To add insult to injury, some retailers have eliminated plus sizes from their stores, choosing to only sell them online. To me it smacks of get to the back of the fashion bus. We don’t want our beautiful slim clothing to be seen with fat girl fashions. However, we are more than happy to take your money.

You might think I’m comparing apples to oranges but the price of most things have gone up including potatoes, chicken, beef and wheat to name a few. Yet, I can go to any fast food chain and still super size my fries or get a triple cheeseburger. So to say that designers and retailers are worried about the cost of producing plus size clothing sounds ludicrous. They are essentially cutting off their nose to spite their face. If McDonald’s is smart enough to keep fries on the menu, what’s your excuse, really? 


I am way out of the age demographic for Glamour magazine but I’ve been a devoted reader for so long that I pick up the latest issue when I’m at my local bookstore or passing through Penn Station.
It seems that editor in chief, Cindi Leive has figured out that plus size women have pockets with money to spend and her magazine caters to our style and search for romance. The August 2012 issue of Glamour featured an article entitled All About You, Your love life, your work life and your life life. In 1863 Alexandre Cabanel painted the famous nude Venus. Artist, Anna Utopia Giordano slimmed down the goddess of love as a commentary of modern beauty. Glamour asked men the question, slim down this girl? (referring to the original painting) the result was most said no way. They liked the voluptuous curves and sexual mystique of a woman with a real body. Glamour goes on to say that every body is some guy’s type and a whopping 76% of men would rather date a confident plus size woman than an insecure supermodel. How do you like us now, Madison Avenue?

When asked do you compare women’s bodies to the ones you see in magazines or porn? Fifty-one percent said probably subconsciously. But I remember that real women don’t have the benefit of lighting and retouching. Bravo Glamour! I can assure you that there are more than a few Amens coming from the pews. We have become a country obsessed with size. Strike that. We’re a country that’s obsessed with the size of women’s bodies.

The media ideal of what makes a woman sexy is way off the mark. Perhaps if they’d come down from their tower they would see it firsthand. Goodness knows, I’ve seen what the media ideal looks like from the ground and let’s just say it’s a good thing the camera adds ten pounds, they need it,

 This brings me to my only pet peeve with Glamour’s September issue with Posh Beckham on the cover and serving as the guest editor. Here’s a woman who I am sure is probably a lovely person, who looks like she hasn’t met a piece of food she wanted near her mouth. Even while she was pregnant, photographers were hard pressed to see the all important baby bump. She is a part of the reason so many young and older women obsess over their size. She has five kids, a sexy husband and designers can’t throw clothes at her fast enough just so she can be photographed in them on the red carpet. I am still a big fan of Glamour and I love that they’re so inclusive when it comes to size. I would dare to make a suggestion of having Amber Riley on the cover and let het be the guest editor for an issue. It’s just a thought.

On June 8, 2012 The Huffington Post ran an article entitled Eating Disorders Affecting More Midlife Women, Studies have shown the majority of those affected by an eating disorder are young women, but the number of midlife women facing the same struggle is on the rise. As Huff/Post50 recently reported, treatment centers have seen an increase in the number of middle-aged women seeking help for eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. The signs of an eating disorder signs of an eating disorder-- such as lack of menstruation or loss of bone density -- are more difficult to spot in older women than in younger women, often leaving midlife women misdiagnosed. At any age, damage to the body resulting from an eating disorder can be grave. Sarah Parker, director of anxiety and eating disorders at the Reeds Treatment Center in New York told ABC News: "There can be significant damage to the heart and heart muscles," said Parker. "In really severe cases, the heart can stop functioning. Fat stores in the brain can become depleted and affect cognitive and neurological functioning. It can also result in osteoporosis and organ failure."

More than 10 million Americans suffer from some form of an eating disorder, including anorexia, bulimia and binge eating, the National Eating Disorders Association reports. An increase of 42 percent of middle-aged women with eating disorders was seen from 2001 to 2010. Triggers of a midlife eating disorder can include the pressures of aging, relationships and personal loss.

This is one of the reasons I believe that more magazines and publishers should get on board with more curve friendly titles. Before anyone can mention it, I know all about the obesity problem in America. I believe it’s important to have a healthy diet but there is something to be said for healthy body image. Put any woman in front of a mirror and I can bet you dollars to donuts that she will find every little flaw she believes or perceives. With this kind of track record, what will happen to the next generation of girls coming up?

Former correspondent for Good Morning America Andrea Canning’s report on body image (June 11, 2011) found that a 2009 University of Central Florida study found that nearly half of the 3- to 6-year-old participants said they worried about being fat. Meanwhile, the number of eating disorder hospitalizations for kids under age 12 more than doubled between 2000 and 2006, according to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA).

 Even Project Runway got into the act when they threw designers a curve with plus size clients and new designers were in a quandary because some simply didn’t know how to deal with anything larger than a sample size. The fact is that more than 74% of women in the United States are plus size. If we were in Congress, we’d be the majority. Yet in the real world, we’re marginalized in fashion and in the media. Sure we’ve had a few rays of light, Melissa McCarthy, Queen Latifah and Loni Love but it’s not enough to constitute a sunshine filled day.

It’s time that we’re recognized as something more than just a punch line, second banana or post script to an article. It’s clear that we aren’t going anywhere. For many of us like me, I took the long and hard road to find happiness with my body, I’m a cancer survivor who has been living with MS for 16 years and to round it out I also have Celiac disease. The road to body image acceptance has been a rocky one for me but it’s one that I want to share with others through nonfiction wedding books and big chick lit romances where the big girl gets the guy, I want to see more representation in the print and film media. In the long run it will be a marriage made in heaven.